Bring Me To Life
by Krysana
Summary: Yaoi, Ken x Aya, NOT a songfic, How can you live if you have no reason for living? Will someone save Ken before it's too late? [Repost, Complete]
1. First confrontation

Bring Me To Life  
A Weiss Kreuz fan fiction   
By Krysana  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own hentai mind! I just like to borrow the Weiss bishies from Koyasu-sama and Project Weiss.  
  
Summary: How can you live if you have no reason for living? Will someone save Ken before it's too late?  
  
Pairing/s: Ken/Aya (yep I reversed it this time - Ken gets to be top this time!), Yohji/Omi (but don't blink 'cause you'll miss it, in this chap anyway...)  
  
Notes: Ken POV. Yaoi. NOT a songfic – but I did use the song for a little inspiration. I first thought of Aya when I heard the song, but I decided to adapt it for Ken. I gave Ken some angst. Let me know what you think!

21.05.04 This fic is a REPOST because it got pulled - I'm assuming from the explicit sexual content of Chapter 6. I will be editing that chapter and any other bits which may have offended any readers. If you reviewed before, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you might like the chance to reread my little fic. Reviews always appreciated and reviewers huggled to pieces!

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Chapter 1  
  
The queue stretches back to the end of the block. This is one of the latest "it" clubs to be at. All the beautiful people come here.  
  
I've been to this place many times and my name is on the all-important list. One advantage of my job is that it pays a lot. The management of this establishment obviously appreciate the cash I've dropped in their bar and have rewarded me for my stupidity.   
  
I feel the stares as I walk directly in. Some stares are hostile, some appreciative. I never have a problem finding a willing partner for the night.  
  
Okay, so I'm not that modest. I've worked hard on my body and I know it looks good. Being an athlete for so many years and now being an assassin, I have to be in impeccable shape.  
  
Besides I've been complimented on my washboard abs by practically every person I've slept with.  
  
It's dark and crowded as I enter the club. Bodies are everywhere packed into the small standing room or gyrating on the dance floor. Anonymous faces surround me. The perfect place to just be one of the crowd.  
  
Tonight I am not an assassin. I'm just another clubber seeking the oblivion of drink, dance and sex.  
  
There's a few people who catch my eye but I head to the bar first.  
  
"Hidaka-san. Your usual?" The sharp eyes of my preferred bartender have spotted me already.  
  
I nod and pay for my beer as I settle on to my stool.  
  
The dance floor is full and I peruse the people on display. Lots of skimpy clothes and expanses of toned flesh. It's a hedonist's paradise.  
  
The beer is cold as it slides down my throat. I'm drinking to forget about my meaningless life. How did I slide from Ken Hidaka, J-league star to being a dead man moonlighting as a Weiss assassin?  
  
Another day. Another mission. For every bad guy that we take down there seems to crop up five others. It's a hard life. But hey, when you're dead, you don't have much choice right?  
  
But tonight's mission was worse than I expected. It was to be a routine execution - leader of a drug cartel, infiltrate his mansion, eliminate him and any bodyguards and remove some crucial files from his computer and leave.  
  
Aya and I were the execution squad. Yohji and Omi were on data retrieval. Everything was going according to plan until right after we popped the guy. The door to his study opened and a young voice was calling for her otousan. The girl was followed by her mother who immediately started screaming on discovering her decapitated husband and his similarly disposed goons.  
  
It humanised the whole mission. It's easier to think of the bad guys as just that, bad guys. Knowing he had a wife and kid, well, that's just a fact on a piece of paper. Meeting said wife and child, it makes a hell of a difference.  
  
Today I just deprived a little girl of her father and a wife of her husband. Even though my head tells me he was an evil man and he deserved it, my heart remembers and hears the cries of the bereaved.  
  
How did my life end up like this?  
  
I didn't talk on the car ride home. Yohji was driving us in his Seven and he was chatting away with Omi in the front seat. Aya was silent too - big surprise there.  
  
I headed up to my room as soon as the car was parked. I'd have a shower later. At that moment I just wanted to be alone.  
  
I curled up on my window seat. The moon was out. It was bright and it shined on my bloodstained clothes. I removed my bugnuks and threw them in their usual place for cleaning.  
  
The blood was dry. It was a dark burgundy colour. I remember that just a few hours ago the blood was bright red, dripping from my claws, splayed from the bodies of the dead.  
  
Why did I pick such a weapon? It's not a neat weapon like Omi's or Yohji's and it's not a classic weapon like Aya's. But bugnuks suit me very well. They're a weapon which demands excellent physical condition and quick arm reflexes - much like that of a goalie.  
  
People think I'm a nice guy. But there's a dark side to this nice guy. I'm best at hand-to-hand combat. I can take any of the other guys anytime. Aya's lucky that I wasn't trying to kill him the first time he showed up at the Koneko. I was only trying to teach him some manners else our team would only have three members.  
  
Besides Kritiker probably wouldn't be happy if I had killed the new Weiss member. Because they saved me from the fire, I'm their property until they release me or I die. Birman wasn't kidding when she asked me to become her dog.  
  
But what choice did I have? I'd just lost everything in my world. My J-league career was gone. My lover and best friend was taken from me. My family had been gone even longer. My parents died when I was young and I was brought up in a number of foster homes.  
  
Like I said, there wasn't a choice and Kritiker knew it.  
  
Yeah life's unfair sometimes.   
  
I like to think that with Kritiker I'm helping the world by cleaning up some of the trash in it. But with each person I kill, there's just more blood staining my hands.  
  
When I wanted to leave Weiss for a girl I met, Yuriko, it all comes back to the blood on my hands. I'm a murderer. I don't have the right to love anyone. I'm living in hell. I can't bring an innocent into my life.  
  
Each new day brings only more blood. Can my hands ever be clean again?  
  
What a maudlin state of mind I'm in. I know if I was at home I'd be reaching for the knife in my bottom drawer.  
  
Yeah, bet that surprised you. Didn't know Ken was into that, did ya?  
  
Some people call it self-mutilation. I just know that the pain makes it all real. When my guilty blood is flowing out, I can feel again. I can wash away the guilt and be cleansed.  
  
I'm in control of the blade at the moment, but one day I might cut myself deeper than I mean to. No big loss there. I'm sure Birman can find another dog.  
  
It's easiest to do it after a mission. My clothes are already bloodstained. If there's extra on them no one's gonna know when we do the laundry tomorrow.  
  
But I gotta be careful. Omi nearly caught me last time. I had to throw my knife under the bed when he entered after knocking only once. I told him that the wound was from the mission and it had reopened when I leant over. He gave me a look, of course I saw it, but I put on my dumb jock face and he believed me. Still it wouldn't do to arouse his suspicions.  
  
Anyway it wasn't an option today. Omi has started doing rounds to check on us all after a mission. So that leaves only one other way to get me out of this slump. I headed off to a club to get drunk and get laid. Another way to numb the emptiness of my life. Yeah it's something I learnt from Yohji.  
  
I headed to the bathroom as soon as I heard the door open. Aya had just come out. I knew it was him because the blood squad always gets to use the bathroom first. And besides I could smell the shampoo that he uses.  
  
Yeah I'm in lust with the guy. He's pretty damn hot you know. That white skin, deep voice, red hair, slim physique. What's not to like?   
  
And he's got a seriously great piece of ass. Every time he bends over in the shop to pick up some plant or whatever, I can get hard just looking at him. I'd like to screw him senseless for a week. Somehow I don't think I'll ever get that chance. Aya's the asexual type.  
  
Yohji's the overtly sexual one of Weiss. He'd like us all to believe that he beds a new woman every day. Maybe he does. But I think he's just in denial. I've seen the looks he's been giving Omi. Sooner or later Omi's gonna notice too.  
  
And on to our last member Omi. He was trained to be a killer. He's not an innocent at all and he has the best mask of us all. Those schoolgirls who frequent the Koneko would be shocked at the things our Omi gets up to.  
  
So that's all of us. A group of dead people. We live together, work together and kill together.  
  
I was going crazy stuck in the house. I had to get out.  
  
I finished my shower and wiped off quickly. Back to my room to get changed. Club clothes are at the back of my wardrobe. I grabbed a pair of leather pants and a tight black shirt. I grabbed a jacket too as the shirt is sheer in case any of the guys are downstairs.  
  
I don't know why I hide this part of my life to the others.   
  
They think I'm a wholesome Japanese boy. A former athlete who teaches soccer to kids. I do love kids. They're so unpretentious. I love to share my sport with them as I know that it was one of the things that helped me survive my childhood.   
  
Sport got me out of the house and gave me something to aim for. It was fantastic while it lasted. J-league was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time I thought I had the whole world in my hands. I had the best job in the world and my lover Kase was there with me. The higher you are just means the harder you fall.  
  
One minute I had it all, the next it was all gone.  
  
I can't forget Kase. I won't ever let myself get into that situation again. I believed him when he told me he wasn't involved in my disgrace. It's hard for me to believe he hated me that much. So many years and so much history between us. He was my first lover. I'll always remember him for that.   
  
All these thoughts make me even more depressed. I gulp down the remains of my beer.  
  
"Hidaka-san. Can I get you another one?" My bartender asks, noticing the nearly empty bottle in front of me. He gives me a flirty smile.  
  
"Sure." I flash a smile back at Hiro. I know he's interested in me but I have a rule that I won't get involved with staff. It's just too messy when it ends.  
  
"Let me get that for you." A good-looking blonde approaches me.  
  
I'd noticed him when I walked in. Seems he noticed me too.  
  
Hiro passes me another ice-cold bottle of Sapporo, letting his hand briefly touch mine as he does. His look is all innocence except for his eyes.  
  
I smile again but turn around on my stool as Hiro's services are required by other patrons.  
  
My new friend is called Keisuke. He's about my age, young and cute with spiky yellow hair. We get into a discussion about bikes versus cars. He's seriously into street racing and I enjoy a good mechanical discussion. [1]  
  
By consensus we move to the dance floor after our bottles are empty.  
  
The music is loud and the bass is throbbing. There are people everywhere crushed into the small dancing space. It gives would-be couples the chance to get close and downright dirty with each other. Exactly what I want.  
  
Keisuke is a good dancer as I expected. He matches my rhythm, intertwining his body around mine. Even with such a small space, people are stopping to look at us.  
  
We continue to dance and drink. The understanding has been settled. I know who I'm going home with tonight.  
  
We stop for a break and Keisuke spots an empty table on the side. There's only one chair but that's enough.  
  
I sit on the chair and the blonde straddles my legs, settling onto my lap. He leans over to kiss me and the action is getting hot and heavy.  
  
I may be an exhibitionist on the dance floor, but I draw the line at having sex in a club packed with people. I can manage it with a girl, but it doesn't work so well with a guy. I better slow down my eager partner. I pull away from Keisuke.  
  
"Want another drink?"  
  
He pouts.  
  
I stroke my hand down his cheek to his chin.  
  
"I'll be right back," I tell him as my other hand trails down the zipper of his pants.  
  
Keisuke nods. "Hurry back lover," he purrs.  
  
I walk over to the bar. My gaze slides around the room, noting common patrons and nodding in acknowledgement to a few acquaintances.  
  
A glimpse of red catches my eye. What the fuck?!  
  
"So what brings you to this part of town Aya?" I drawl after I make my way across the room to stand before my red-haired team mate.   
  
I look him up and down insolently. He's looking pretty damn good in his black sleeveless assassin shirt and black pants. He really suits black – it makes his pale skin even more obvious. And desirable.  
  
"I followed you," is Aya's simple reply.  
  
"Why? I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." I make a show of running my hand down the front of my see-through shirt, bringing Aya's attention to my chest.  
  
I don't know what's gotten into me. Suddenly I'm consumed with wanting to show Aya what I really get up when I'm out of the house.   
  
In the Koneko I'm trapped in the life of being a florist assassin. I generally toe the line and don't draw attention to myself.   
  
Since he's followed me here, he must've seen me on the dance floor.  
  
Aya's gaze is still on my chest. "Ken…" He looks directly at me as he says, "I'm concerned about you."  
  
To say I'm surprised is an understatement. Here's the guy who I thought was only interested in money and work. I'm amazed he thinks about me at all and that he followed me today.  
  
But I'm not in the mood for a deep and meaningful conversation. I'm here for action – action that will stop me from thinking about how empty my life is.  
  
"What's to worry about? I'm fine." I'm already turning to dismiss Aya from my night.   
  
He grabs my arm to stop me from moving.  
  
"You're not doing yourself any good by this destructive behaviour." Who would have guessed that Aya's amethyst eyes could be so empathic?  
  
"What are you talking about? I'm just drinking and having a good time. Made a new friend over there." I point at my table across the room. I notice that Keisuke is not looking very happy.  
  
Aya doesn't look too happy about him either. But then Aya doesn't look happy at many things.  
  
Aya speaks again. "Ken, what is your problem? This could have an effect on Weiss."  
  
Ah. I get it now. Weiss leader just wants to ensure his minions are in optimal condition. A problem could result in a failed mission.  
  
My heart has plummeted and I realise that I thought Aya was genuinely concerned about me, Ken Hidaka. But it's really only about Siberian of Weiss.  
  
I remove Aya's hand from my wrist.  
  
"This is my problem Aya. Want to do something about it?"   
  
I place his hand firmly on my crotch where my traitorous body is still reacting to his proximity.  
  
Aya's eyes widen slightly at the contact.  
  
He doesn't move for a few seconds.  
  
I laugh and remove my hand from his wrist.  
  
"Well I better go and find my friend," I say, putting emphasis on the word friend.  
  
And I walk away without a backward glance.  
  
- tbc -  
  
[1] Yes I'm using Seki's voice char from Initial D! I'm too lazy to come up with a new OC. Besides I think it's funny for them to be talking to each other with the same voice. laugh  
  
So what did you think, huh? 


	2. The morning after

Chapter 2  
  
Summary: Ken's becoming more disturbed by the assassin lifestyle and has gone out to a club to try and forget about his life for the night. He's just been found by Aya. What happens next?  
  
Author's Note: I'm following the anime, in that Ken doesn't know about Aya-chan. Because if he had known, like in the manga (which is beautiful - you should get it!) then Omi should've know at the beginning too, and he didn't.  
  
I honestly love all you wonderful reviewers for your kind comments! All of you who said you loved my fic, I feel so humbled and happy! Arigatou gozaimasu! bows to all

05.07.04 - Really sorry for the slow repost (RL and all that...)

And now on with the story...

.  
  
I return to my table.  
  
Keisuke looks at me. "Weren't you getting a drink?" he asks.  
  
Oops. Forgot that after my encounter with Aya. "I wasn't as thirsty as I thought," I lie.  
  
"So who's the redhead?" my partner for the night asks.  
  
"No one, just a co-worker. Let's go." I've had enough of the club. It's time for some real action.  
  
My blonde friend stands up and stretches. "Sure thing."  
  
Suddenly there's a hand on my arm. Again.  
  
"Ken. I can't let you do this."  
  
Damn! I wasn't fast enough to get away from Aya.  
  
Keisuke is glaring belligerently at Aya. "Find your own partner, buddy."  
  
Aya ignores him and looks only at me. "Ken, let's go home. We can work this out together. I don't want you to do something you'll regret later. Please come home with me now."  
  
I can't move my eyes away from Aya's face. I'm hypnotised by those amethyst orbs.  
  
The look on Keisuke's face as he looks at us both is surprise, annoyance and acceptance, all at once.  
  
"Ken, I didn't realise you were in a relationship. If your partner," he looks at Aya here, "cares this much about you, you should at least talk about it and see if you can work it out."  
  
"Thank you for your understanding." Aya says without breaking eye contact with me.  
  
"Maybe I'll see you around sometime Ken. Ja ne!" And Keisuke leaves, just like that.   
  
Damn! Aya's gotten rid of my potential bed partner. And it doesn't look like I'll be able to find another one if Aya's around and pulls this trick again.  
  
I concede with ill grace.  
  
"Fine. Let's go home."  
  
I stomp over to the exit, grab my coat and depart into the cool night air, Aya on my heels.  
  
I see Aya's Porsche parked close to my bike. Damn again! If his car was further away I could try to slip away and go to another club.  
  
"I'd still follow you," Aya's deep voice cuts into my thoughts, "I put a tracking device on your bike."  
  
I stare at my red-haired leader. "WHAT?"  
  
"I couldn't chance you running away again. After that mission with that girl, you just took off for a few days. I thought you might do it again." Aya shrugs his shoulders.  
  
We stand on the street looking at each other.  
  
It's checkmate. Aya's covered all exits.  
  
But in a way, it doesn't feel like defeat for me. How long has it been since someone took this much effort for me? I feel a surge of adrenalin. I'm gonna make Aya work for his victory.  
  
"Let's go then." I'm pulling my helmet on as I speak and zipping up my jacket.  
  
Aya gives me an appraising look then nods as he heads across the street to his car.  
  
He thinks he has all the aces. Someone should've told him that jokers are wild and his luck's about to change.  
  
I gun my engine and I'm off before Aya has the chance to even start his car.  
  
I'm flying down the highway, laughing to myself when I notice a familiar white car in my rear view mirrors. So he wants to play, huh? I'll oblige him.   
  
I decide to take the long way home. And I do mean long. This so-called long trip will include several rather small alleys and as many side streets as I can manage.  
  
I speed up and begin cutting through traffic. This is what I love about my bike. The sound of the engine at high revs, the wind in my face pulling at my clothes and the responsiveness of the engine to my command for speed.  
  
I look in my mirrors and I can still see the Porsche. It's time to go even harder and faster. The white car slowly gets smaller in my view.  
  
I'm grinning like an idiot when I pull up the Koneko. Ha! That'll teach that guy to try to follow me.  
  
I run up to my room and pull off my clothes. I throw them in my clothes hamper and grab a towel for the shower. I should have enough time for another shower before Aya gets back.  
  
As I exit my room, I'm grabbed by the shoulder and pinned against the wall. It's a furious Aya. Damn! He's faster than I thought he would be.  
  
"You fucking idiot!" Aya growls. "Do you have a death wish or something?"  
  
I start to shake my head in denial, but I've taken too long. Aya has caught my split-second hesitation. He releases me with a small sigh.  
  
"Ken. Take your shower. I'll be waiting for you when you're done."  
  
I feel the weight of Aya's stare as I walk to the bathroom. Why should I feel bad? I've done nothing wrong. Except wanting to get away from everyone and everything, my conscience tells me. Worrying those whom I live and work with.  
  
I take as long as I can in the shower. Maybe Aya will get pissed off with waiting and leave. It's a long shot I know.  
  
I wrap the towel around my waist. I forgot to bring dry clothes.  
  
I sneak back to my room. The lights are not on. I breathe a sigh of relief as I enter and lock the door. Ha! Even Aya can't get through a locked door.  
  
I pad over to the wardrobe and by touch, pull out a clean T-shirt and shorts for bed.  
  
I'm already in bed when there's a knock on the door.  
  
"Ken?" It's Aya.  
  
"Let's talk tomorrow Aya. I'm tired now." I say in my best sleepy voice.  
  
There's silence from outside my door.  
  
Eventually there's a "Fine" and the sound of soft footsteps walking away.  
  
I smirk as I pull the covers up.  
  
Tomorrow I'll find that tracking device and I'll stick it somewhere else. Yohji's car maybe? Or should it be Omi's bike? Or on a random car I find in the street?  
  
I'm giggling to myself at what Aya's face is gonna look like when he finds out.  
  
So far it's Icicles 1, Jocks 0. But I'm eager to even the score.  
  
I'm lying on my back looking at the ceiling. The after effect of my night race is a hyped up and awake Ken. Not quite what I wanted to achieve when I left the house earlier this evening.  
  
Now I'm alone with my thoughts. The events of the day replay themselves in my mind. I remember the faces of the girl and her mother. I remember the spray of blood and the final cries of pain from those that I killed today. Most people plead for their lives when they realise they aren't going to beat me. I turn my deaf ears to them and continue my work. It's too late for them to confess now.   
  
Sometimes I wonder whether Persia ever gets his information wrong. Maybe I've killed innocent people. My mood sinks even lower.  
  
Either guilty or innocent, what right does Ken Hidaka have to take someone else's life? I'm no better than those that we hunt down. My guilt hangs over me like a fog cloud, obscuring my vision. I'm guilty no matter which way I turn.  
  
Even here in my room, I am reminded of my occupation by the bugnuks on the floor, the mission files on my desk, the bloodstained clothes in a pile in the corner. I can almost smell the blood on myself, staining my skin, drowning me in its cloying thickness.  
  
This blood staining my hands, it's infiltrating my life, gradually taking over my mind. Where I once saw joy and happy people, I am now suspicious and guarded. The only people I can truly relax with are the kids I train in soccer. Their expressions are so open, they accept me unconditionally as their 'Ken-nichan'.  
  
I want to scream at the top of my lungs about the unfairness of life. I'm so young. I'll probably die young. Else the other alternate case is I'll die old and alone. Either way, I'm screwed.  
  
I'm just lying in bed, tossing and turning. There's no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep in my current state.   
  
I get out of bed and change to workout clothes. Since that damn Aya removed my planned source of tension relief for the night, I'm gonna have to find another way to release the strain building inside of me.   
  
I briefly consider marching over to Aya's room next door and demanding he fix my problem, after all he had to come and ruin my plan. The idea makes me smirk even as I dismiss it.  
  
I wonder if Aya would even know how to fix my problem? But damn, he was so hot when he was pissed off before. The feel of his angry body against mine as he slammed me against the wall. I squirm uncomfortably as I readjust my shorts.   
  
But there's no point dwelling on useless dreams. Instead I'm reaching automatically for my favourite much loved and abused soccer ball. It will once again have to bear the brunt of my frustrations and inner turmoil.  
  
I open my door cautiously. I gotta be careful in case Aya is still up. I sneak quietly down the stairs and I'm away.  
  
I jog to the nearby park where I play with the neighbourhood kids. I toss the ball onto the ground and as in days long gone, I am again one with the ball. I give my entire concentration to my task. I don't notice the coated figure that stands watching me for some time.  
  
I play until I am dripping with sweat and exhaustion. I stumble home in the early hours of the morning and drop like a stone onto my bed. This time sleep comes within seconds.

---  
  
The new day dawns and my alarm clock rings.  
  
I open bleary eyes only to hit the Off button.  
  
I don't have morning shift today so I'm gonna sleep in.  
  
Ken Hidaka is NOT a morning person.

---  
  
I finally stumble out of bed at nine thirty. A fairly decent hour to rise and I'll have missed the morning schoolgirls. That thought makes me smile.  
  
I pull on some jeans and a sweatshirt. Comfortable, a little daggy but non-descript. Perfect for my mask of the scruffy boy-next-door.  
  
I sneak down the stairs to the kitchen. Alright, maybe I didn't sneak, but I was walking very very quietly, for me anyway. I briefly consider eating breakfast but decide to get out of the house unseen instead. Away from the scene of the crime, so to speak.  
  
My plan is foiled by the big blue eyes of our master tactician. Omi's sitting at the kitchen table, working on some plans, homework, accounts, who knows? Something with paper anyway.  
  
"Ken-kun! Ohayo!"  
  
"Hey Omi."  
  
I wonder why he gives us all the –kun honorific? Isn't that supposed to be used for people younger than you? Is it a way of Omi saying we are his inferiors? Whatever, I'll think about it some other time.  
  
"Did you want breakfast? I made onigiri and put some in the fridge for you." Omi fairly beams at me.  
  
"Sure, sounds great." I do like the kid's cooking. I don't know why he bothers, but he does.  
  
I ruffle his hair as I go past to show my appreciation.  
  
"Ken-kun!"  
  
Such an innocent laugh. Not for the first time, I wonder how he can still laugh like that.   
  
I don't need to talk much as Omi chatters on about the shop, the latest incidents this morning, the headlines from the news, anything and everything. I nod occasionally and it seems that's enough for Omi.  
  
I'm finishing up the riceballs when Yohji appears in the doorway, posing dramatically.  
  
"Chibi, you gotta come and do the deliveries. Aya's getting narky." He straightens up and strolls into the room. "Hey Kenken, watcha doing?"  
  
"Hey Yotan. I'm enjoying my breakfast made by Omi."  
  
"Yeah Omi-chan is a great cook huh? Gonna make somebody a great wife."  
  
I shake my head at Yohji as Omi jumps up and tries to hit him.  
  
"Don't call me Omi-chan! I'm not a girl!"  
  
These two make me smile. It's like watching a soap opera. Though I do think Omi isn't doing much to enhance his manly image with that girly shirt he's wearing.  
  
Then a thought occurs to me.  
  
"I thought you weren't working this morning Omi?" I look at the roster on the fridge and see only Yohji and Aya's names there.  
  
"Oh I asked Aya-kun to swap with me this morning so I can go to cram school after classes finish today. I have a big test next week that I want to get some extra study in for. Aya-kun had to make up a special arrangement this morning so he came into the shop this morning anyway."  
  
So I'm working with Aya this afternoon. Great. I sense a feeling of foreboding.  
  
"Aa… well, I gotta go. Ja ne!" I wave to the guys, but before I can get out the door Aya enters the kitchen.  
  
"Ken, wait."  
  
Too slow. Again! It would be rude to just run off when everyone is there. Not at all like the usual Ken behaviour. So I wait until he finishes talking to Omi and Yohji and sends them back to the storefront.  
  
"Where are you going?" Aya demands as he turns to me.  
  
"Why do you want to know?" I don't deal well with demands.  
  
Aya has a longsuffering look on his face. "Because we need to talk."  
  
Oh great. It's a new day but I still don't want this deep and meaningful discussion. I don't want to justify my actions to anybody. And I'm resenting that look on Aya's face. Hey I didn't ask him to talk to me. There's no need for that sour look.  
  
"I gotta go shopping this morning. I'm running low on some stuff." I improvise madly. "I'll be back later, we can talk then."  
  
"I'll come with you," says Aya, "I want to pick up something from the mall too."  
  
"Don't you have something to do in the Koneko? Omi mentioned something you were doing…" I'm grasping at straws again.  
  
"I finished the special arrangement I needed to do this morning and I will be working the afternoon shift with you." Aya's looking impatient now.  
  
"Fine," I grouch.  
  
"We'll take my car then." Aya grabs his keys from the kitchen table. He must've planned this. Normally his keys are in his room.  
  
I feel the perverse need to be annoying.  
  
"Why can't we take my bike? It's easier to park."  
  
"I've seen how you drive that thing. I'm amazed you managed to get a license at all."  
  
"Yeah yeah. Dead people don't need a license anyway."  
  
Aya raises an eyebrow at that one then he looks away. I wonder what he's thinking.  
  
"Fine, we'll take your bike. I better put on a jacket. Wait here."  
  
I consider doing a runner on Aya but he'll just chase me down. And I haven't had a chance to get rid of that bloody tracking device. Not quite what I planned for my morning off. I give the back door a big kick in frustration. It's immature but it makes me feel better.  
  
Aya reappears wearing a black jacket and holding my brown leather jacket.  
  
"I thought you might want this." He passes it to me.  
  
I slip my arms into the sleeves and try to think when was the last time someone cared about whether I was warm enough. I'm surprised that I can't remember when it was.  
  
I toss the spare helmet to Aya. "Let's go."  
  
I've never had Aya as a passenger on my bike before. It's an interesting experience. Aya seems to know what to do. He's wrapped his arms around my waist. It's a good thing he's sitting behind me, not in front of me.  
  
I try to concentrate on the road in front of me, but I'm distracted by the feel of Aya's lean body against mine.  
  
Somehow we make it to the shopping mall in one piece.  
  
I park the bike and pull my helmet off.  
  
Aya has a small smirk on his face as he hands me his helmet for storage.  
  
"What?" I growl at my unwanted company.  
  
"Your hair is all dishevelled."  
  
Who the fuck uses words like dishevelled?  
  
I rake my fingers through my hair. "Better now?" I ask in saccharin tones.  
  
Aya walks over to me and lightly fixes several strands of my wayward brown hair.  
  
"After all I have an image to maintain. If you're going to be seen with me, you should look good."  
  
I think my mouth is open. Hold on, it IS open. Was that humour? From Aya?  
  
"Let's go." He turns to the mall entrance and looks back at me like I'm a stupid child.  
  
"What the?! I look just fine. No one asked you to come with me." I'm already pissed off with his attitude.  
  
"Well I'm here now. What do you need to get?" It's Aya in demanding tones again.  
  
"Let's get your stuff first. I got a whole pile of stuff to get." I give Aya a sickly sweet considerate smile. Besides I need some time to think of what I was supposedly coming here to buy.  
  
Aya walks away and I trail him.  
  
Aya stops at the bookstore. "Wait here. I'll only be one minute."  
  
Hold on. Why doesn't he want me to come in with him?  
  
"Nah. I'll just come with you." I'm getting really good at these insincere smiles today.  
  
Aya may be a stubborn bastard, but I'm good at this game too.  
  
"Fine," he says and stalks off.  
  
I have to hurry to keep up with him. Ooh, what's with Aya's attitude? Have I hit a nerve here?  
  
Aya's going to the fiction section. I never pegged him as a fiction reader. Though I guess I never really thought about what he does in his spare time. Sometimes he's in the room, sometimes he's gone to who knows where. He's not really a television person, so I only have to fight with Omi and Yohji about it. Though Omi is mostly on his computer or doing his homework and Yohji is out on a date most of the time.  
  
Aya walks over to the Top 10 shelf. Oh my gosh! He's taking a copy of that pretty boy's new novel. What's his name again? That's right – Yuki Eiri. And if I remember correctly, Yuki writes romance novels! He's the beloved of many housewives and schoolgirls. He he! This IS an unexpected side of Aya. [1]  
  
Aya looks back at me and his eyes are slightly narrowed as if daring me to say something. I make a show of picking up a copy myself and reading the back cover. It doesn't sound half bad, for a novel that is. Not my taste though.  
  
I meet Aya at the registers where he pays for the book whilst ignoring the speculative glances from the sales clerks.  
  
We're walking away from the store when Aya speaks.  
  
"It's not for me." I'm surprised to hear a piece of freely divulged information from Aya.  
  
"It's fine. I don't care what you read." I shrug indifferently.  
  
"It's for… my imouto." The last words come out of Aya's voice in a rush.  
  
I look at him. Did I hear that right? Aya has a little sister?  
  
"Your imouto? You have an imouto?" I stare questioningly at the redhead.  
  
Aya's pretty features take on a rather pinched look. "Yes I do."  
  
And that's all he says. I wait for more information but none is forthcoming.  
  
"What? That's all you're gonna say?" I'm nearly bursting with indignation.  
  
"What do you want me to say Ken?" Aya turns tired eyes to me.  
  
"I want to know why you haven't told any of us about her. Where is she? Why isn't she living with you? How can you be part of Weiss with a sister?" I've stopped in the middle of the crowded walkway to point accusingly at Aya.  
  
"This is not the place Ken." Aya stops too.  
  
But he's right. People are starting to look at us. And Aya already attracts enough attention from his exotic looks.  
  
I start walking again. My minds full of questions. At the moment I'm resenting Aya. He just admitted to having a sister. He's not alone in the world. Not like me.  
  
"So what do you need to buy Ken?" Aya catches up to me. I didn't realise I had walked away so fast.  
  
I look at him. "Underwear."

.  
  
-tbc-

.

[1] Sorry! Gratuitous Gravi reference! But it is funny to think of Aya buying one of Yuki's books!  
  
So did you like it? 


	3. Underwear?

Chapter 3  
  
Summary: Ken thinks he's all alone in the world and his actions have become more self-destructive. Aya thinks there is a problem and is following Ken around to try and talk to him, but Ken is having none of that. Ken has insisted on a shopping trip and has just found out that Aya has a sister. Ken's inner demon causes him to tell Aya that he needs to buy underwear. Now read on!  
  
Author's Note: Umm… I probably should have mentioned that Aya-chan is not awake and hasn't been kidnapped yet because obviously Ken doesn't know about her. Gomen!

14.07.04 - Apologies to the anonymous reviewer who called me a bastard for not posting earlier! Your review amused me greatly - but if you're really desperate and can't wait - just mail me and I'll send you the entire fic.

Hugs to Wai-Aki and Tenxjigoku too. Thanks for the sympathy Wai - it's been happening a lot lately to quite a few people I know. Hope you haven't been affected!  
  
Now I'll stop babbling and give you what you really want…

.  
  
Aya gives me a hard look. "Underwear?" The word is almost in ice.  
  
I nod as I flash him a grin. "But if you got somewhere else to be, don't let lil ol' me stop you."  
  
I can tell that Aya wants to leave, but then he was the one that insisted on coming so he could "talk" to me. I stare at him, eager to see which side of Aya will triumph.  
  
Aya sighs. "Let's go. Which store?"  
  
So he's gonna stick with his leader mission thing. I name the large department store in the complex and Aya nods.  
  
I lead the way. I wonder where Yohji gets his stuff from. If I knew I'd definitely make Aya go with me there. I chuckle to myself.  
  
"You're not just making this up are you Ken?" Aya gives me a suspicious look.  
  
"Why would I make up something like this? You wanna check the state of my jocks at home?" I ask the rhetorical question, inwardly enjoying Aya's discomfort.  
  
Aya doesn't talk anymore on our way up several escalators and walkways to the men's section.  
  
"I'll go look at some other stuff and come back for you." Aya is looking away at the far side of the level.  
  
"Nah. You better come with me. How can we talk if you're not with me?" I give him my best earnest look complete with puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Ken…" Aya sounds like he wants to argue.  
  
I grab his arm and pull him after me to the underwear section. "Besides it's just jocks. All guys need jocks. You have them, I have them, what's to be embarrassed about?"  
  
Aya may be slightly taller than me, but there's no contest in who has more muscle.  
  
I drop his arm when we reach the section. Don't want the sales clerks to get the wrong idea here. Or do I? He he! I'll do it subtlety. Aya's so gonna regret coming after me today.  
  
I start by looking at some cotton boxers. Pretty normal stuff.  
  
My inner devil makes me call Aya over. "Which brand do you think is better? Feel the cotton?" I force Aya's hand to touch the fabric. I notice he is diligently only touching the side part of the shorts.  
  
"They both seem fine." Aya's voice is clipped.  
  
"Hmm… Maybe I'll try them both then. See which one is better." I can almost hear Aya's sigh of relief that this shopping was over so fast. Not so fast buddy.  
  
"But I need to get some briefs too." I smile innocently. "They're better for soccer. Hold you in, y'know what I mean. Can't play soccer in boxers."  
  
I breeze over to the briefs section.  
  
"Woah! There's a serious amount of briefs here, huh Aya? So what brand do you wear?" I turn to Aya.  
  
"Ken…" Aya is nearly growling again.  
  
"What? I'm just asking. Just talking y'know. Getting to know you better." I turn away in a pretend huff after those last ingenious statements.  
  
I see the sales clerk approaching.  
  
"Irrashaimase! Can I assist you in any way sirs?" The salesman smiles brightly.  
  
"Nah. His opinion is all I need." I smile back and point at the unresponsive Aya.  
  
"Ano… I see…" The guy looks a bit shocked at how open I am. I notice he resists the urge to run off and settles for walking away very quickly.  
  
"Ken…" It's growling Aya again. He's like a puppet on repeat.  
  
"What?" I say for the umpteenth time. "Did you see the look on that guy's face? He he!"  
  
I make Aya hold the boxers I've picked as I make a play at looking at nearly every single brand in the briefs section. I make comments about each pair, noting the annoyed expression on Aya's face.   
  
"These boxer briefs are pretty nifty, ne Aya?"  
  
When I think Aya's reached the end of his tolerance I select a few of the least offensive pairs. Hey I do have to wear them after all.  
  
On the way to the register I spot something which is just like the icing on a cake. It's a rack with thong bikinis.  
  
"Ooh look at these Aya!" I pick up one. There's not much material there. How the hell can these be comfortable sticking up your ass?  
  
Aya is definitely ignoring me now. But there's a slight flush on his ears. He he! I'm getting to him.  
  
"How the hell do you think this can be comfortable, huh Aya?" I wave the underwear near his face.  
  
"Are you finished yet Ken?" is the only reply I get.  
  
"Ok. I'll just have to ask Yohji then." I shrug nonchalantly as I begin to walk to the register.  
  
"You're going to buy one of those?" Aya sounds aghast.  
  
"Sure why not? Live on the wild side Aya. Besides they'll probably go well with my leather hipsters."  
  
Aya's back visibly straightens at the mention of my pants. Damn! Bad move to remind him about what I got up to last night when I was wearing said pants which has lead to this fun-filled shopping trip.  
  
"We need to talk." Aya states bluntly but he doesn't intimidate me at all.  
  
"I'll just pay for these then I need to stop at the sports store and then I'm done." I say meekly.  
  
Aya nods.  
  
I pay the previously embarrassed clerk and give him a cheeky wink as he quickly scans the tag on my thong.  
  
I start whistling as we walk out of the store. I'm smirking inside. Aya thinks that he'll get a chance to talk to me soon. As if I'm gonna let that happen.  
  
There's a salesguy Watanabe at the sports store who loves to talk to me. He's a soccer fanatic and he knows I love it too. He's always talking and since there was a big match on the weekend, he'll be dying to discuss it. And I have to say that I enjoy it too. It's always nice to chat with someone who shares the same interests as you.  
  
Actually he has mentioned that my name sounds familiar. I guess I'm lucky that he can't remember that far back in the J-league. It's already over three years since it was part of my life. [1]  
  
No one in the Weiss can understand what a big part of my life soccer was and still is. I trained so hard to make my dream come true. Soccer was my life. I lived and breathed it everyday. Kase and I were practicing every spare minute we could. Nothing can compare to that period in my life. It was the best time of my life.  
  
It's hard sometimes to watch the game without feeling resentment for what was taken away from me. Especially when a goalie lets in an easy goal.   
  
But I can't hold onto the past if I want to keep my sanity. I've made myself move on. My life is now Weiss.  
  
As expected, Watanabe's eyes light up when we enter the store.  
  
"Hidaka-san! Irrashaimase! Did you watch the game on the weekend?" And he's off.  
  
Aya watches our interaction. After ten minutes, he wanders off to look at something in the store. He returns and we're still going. I sneak a side glance at him. Aya's starting to look grumpy.  
  
I nod placatingly at him and make an effort to look like I'm trying to end the conversation. Of course I don't succeed as I know exactly what to say to make Watanabe keep talking and talking and talking.  
  
Finally Aya butts in. "Ken. We need to go now."  
  
"Ah, who is your friend Hidaka-san?" Watanabe smiles sweetly at Aya. He reminds me of Omi.  
  
"Watanabe-san, please meet Fujimiya-san. We work together."  
  
"Ah! Yoroshiku ne!" Watanabe bows politely. Aya merely nods in return.  
  
"I've got to go now." I say regretfully.  
  
"Oh ok, so soon?" I nod at Watanabe's sorrowful expression. "Well come down to the sports bar tonight Hidaka-san! It's AC Milan against Arsenal! It should be a great match!" He's always inviting me to watch the game with him and his friends.  
  
"I'll try to be there." I'm not going to tell Aya that I've never gone out with Watanabe before.  
  
"I'll be looking for you!" He waves us out of the store.  
  
As we walk out, I look at my watch. "Ne… Aya, we better get back to the Koneko. It's lunch hour and Yohji could probably use a hand."  
  
"Hn." What the fuck does 'hn' mean?  
  
"We can talk later ok?" I say because I'm guessing that's what Aya is thinking.  
  
"Aa." That's our Aya – the master of monosyllabic sounds.  
  
We walk back to the carpark through the crowded mall so thankfully there isn't any opportunity for conversation. Besides I feel like walking fast. This excess energy in me, I need to work it off. Must be the adrenalin from getting one over Aya. It's a sweet feeling.  
  
I store our purchases and we're off. I experience once again the sweet torture of Aya's arms around me. When I accelerate, I feel Aya tighten his hold on me. I like it. I start driving faster. [2]  
  
When we arrive back at the Koneko (in record time, I must admit) Aya is glaring when we come to a halt.  
  
"Ken no baka. Was it really necessary to drive that fast?"  
  
"What's wrong? Were you scared?" I leer at him.  
  
Aya's eyes turn even more glacial, if that was possible. He ignores my comment, hands me his helmet and stalks off to enter the house.  
  
I think he looks so cute when he's pissed off. Like an angry kitten.  
  
Once the door is closed behind him, I let out the smile I've been holding back. Damn that was funny. That was a shopping trip that Aya won't forget in a hurry.  
  
I enter the house and drop the shopping in my room. I can hear the Koneko is busy, the din of schoolgirl chatter is crazy. I better get in there and lend a hand.  
  
"Ken!" Yohji gives me a relived grin as I enter. "Come and give me a hand with the under eighteens!"  
  
I shake my head as I pull on my apron. Yohji is so predictable.  
  
I'm kept busy during the lunch period dealing with customers and making deliveries.  
  
Thankfully it slows down after that and then I move onto the ikebana arrangements. While I work I reflect on the silent redhead across from me. Aya has an imouto? I wonder where she is and why he has never mentioned her before. How can he be part of Weiss and still have a family? Aren't we all supposed to be dead?  
  
What does she look like? Wonder if she's as beautiful as Aya? I try to imagine a feminine version of Aya. It's pretty easy. Aya really is a stunning man.  
  
I'm happily imagining a gorgeous female-Aya, but then I recall the reality of the situation. Aya has an imouto. He's not alone. He has someone to love and care for him. Why does that make me feel so depressed? But I should be glad for my team member, not resentful.  
  
I'm trying to work out my feelings. I think of Weiss as my family now. A dysfunctional family who kills for a living, but a family nonetheless.  
  
I realise I feel hurt that Aya had never confided this information to us. He's so aloof, never letting us know more about the Aya under that mask. I asked him once what made him join Weiss but he wouldn't answer me.  
  
When did I begin to want to know more about the redhead?  
  
I've stopped working and am staring blankly at the wall. I'm brought back to earth by Aya clearing his throat. How can such a small sound attract my attention? Because you're fixated on the man, my inner-self tells me. And you're really hot for his body after today. I recall the feel of Aya pressed up against my back.  
  
I can almost feel Aya's gaze on me. I look up and he has an unreadable expression on his face.  
  
"Ken, daijoubu ka?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
I resume work. I avoid looking at Aya. He's stirring all sorts of mixed feelings in me today. I need some time to absorb it all.  
  
The afternoon passes and before I know it, the dreaded schoolgirl crush is on us again. Where the hell do they all come from? And why do they come to just stand around the store?  
  
The door opens again. I glance up as I call "Irrashaimase!" and then have to work to keep from groaning out loud. It's that damn girl who loves to follow Aya around. What's her name again? That's right – it's Sakura.  
  
I don't know why I don't like Sakura that much. Maybe because she just wants so much attention and pity. Sure, she had her kidney stolen by an evil guy, but at least she's still got her life and her family. At least she can live a normal life and she can hate the people who did it to her. She's not like me; I was gullible enough to trust the person who betrayed me. Look where I ended up.  
  
Or maybe I just hate the posturing she does when she comes in and fawns over Aya. She even brings bento boxes for Aya to ensure he's eating right. Actually if I admit it, I'm just the tiniest bit jealous. There's two reasons for that, one is that Sakura obviously cares a lot about Aya, it really makes me miss the company of Yuriko, and my second reason is that I can't stand the fact that Aya gives her attention. He lets her stand next to him and chatter away about whatever.  
  
But I'm going to ignore them and concentrate on my task at hand. I put on a smile for the girl in front of me. "Mika-san, you need something for a sick friend? How about this arrangement of lilies?"  
  
When closing time arrives, I'm quick to pull down the shutters. I want to get away from this place, away from Aya and away from these confusing feelings. And I especially don't want to 'talk' to him. I might end up blurting out something I'll regret later.  
  
I rush through my cleaning chores and am pulling off my apron when Aya approaches me.  
  
"Ken. Are you free this evening?"  
  
"Nope. Gonna go watch the game at the bar with Watanabe." I hang up my apron.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
"Can we talk later Aya? This match is a really big one! See AC Milan are playing Arsenal and if AC Milan win then they'll be in second place in the UEFA Cup. And Arsenal needs to win this game to keep in the top 8. But I heard that Maldini has a sprained ankle and may not be playing this match. He's the Milan captain and one of the best defenders. It's gonna be a great match." I babble on enthusiastically, noting Aya's slightly dazed expression.  
  
"But Ken…"  
  
"Later okay Aya? I won't be back too late." I'm already opening the door and pulling on my leather jacket. "Ja ne!"  
  
I race down the street, enjoying the feel of doing something physical after hours spent in the shop. I decided not to take my bike because I plan to be drinking. And besides I hate knowing that Aya has tabs on me if I do take my bike.   
  
I'm also enjoying dodging the pedestrians on the sidewalk, the salarymen and women going home, the giggling schoolgirls, the shopping mothers. It's like a game to see how nimble my reflexes are, moving as fast as I can without touching anyone.  
  
All too soon I arrive at the bar. Watanabe is sitting with a group of guys at one of the tables and I go over to join them.  
  
"Hidaka-san! Glad you could join us!"  
  
Watanabe introduces me to his friends and I feel like I'm back in days past. I remember sitting around the pub with a group of team mates after a match. Those were good days.  
  
I order a beer from the cute waitress and settle down to watch the match with my new friends.  
  
The beer keeps flowing and I realise at half-time that I haven't eaten anything to counter the alcohol.  
  
"What snacks do they have here?" I ask Watanabe.  
  
"Snacks? Who needs snacks!" Watanabe slings his arm around my shoulders. "Kampai!"  
  
"Kampai!" Everyone is raising their glasses again. Oh well, nobody ever said Ken Hidaka was a party pooper so I drain my glass as well. The waitress brings over the new bottles without even asking. It seems this group gathers here a lot.  
  
The second half of the match passes in a slight blur as I drink more and more. We're getting rowdier. Even when the game finishes, we're all still sitting around drinking and talking about the best soccer matches we've seen, the best goals we ever saw, the World Cup, practically anything soccer related.  
  
It's after 1am when I stagger home. I shared a taxi with some of the guys who lived in this area.  
  
I pull off my sneakers and yawn sleepily as I stagger through the kitchen. I give a start of surprise at the figure standing in the shadows of the hallway.  
  
It's Aya standing at the entrance to the living room. The television is on quietly in the background flickering within the dark room.  
  
"Hey Aya. Watcha doing?"  
  
"Waiting." Aya enunciates slowly.  
  
"Yeah?" I give him a big smile. "Waiting for what?"  
  
"You."  
  
"That's nice. You waited for me. Umm, what for?" I scrunch my nose up thoughtfully.  
  
"Are you drunk?" Aya looks at me incredulously.  
  
"I'm not drunk. I only had a few beers." I lean against the wall as the room starts to spin. "Let's see, I had one when I got there… And another one when Milan scored their first goal… And one when Arsenal scored their first goal of course… One at half time and one at the end of the match and one when Junichi got the waitress' phone number and he bought us all another round and another one when… Hey why is the room moving around like this Aya?"  
  
"Let's get you to bed Hidaka." Aya quickly turns off the television and approaches me. He puts my arm around his shoulders and his arm around my waist. I snuggle my head against his neck and close my eyes.  
  
"You smell nice Aya."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"I can see why that Sakura chick keeps hanging around you."  
  
"What does Sakura have to do with this? Let's go." Aya helps me up the stairs to my room before pushing me on the bed.  
  
"Sleep it off, baka."  
  
"What? No bedtime kiss?" I open my eyes. Now that I'm lying down in one position, the room has stopped spinning.  
  
"You reek of beer and smoke. There's no way in hell I'm going to kiss you."  
  
"Just a little one? To make my dreams pleasant?" I blink earnestly at him.  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine," I pout, "When I have a bad dream, it'll be all your fault."  
  
The room is silent and it's too dark to read the expression in Aya's beautiful amethyst eyes. I give up on Aya and close my eyes.  
  
And then I feel it, the slightest touch against my lips.  
  
I open my eyes. Aya is running his thumb over my lips. He whispers, "Baka", before his head descends to mine.  
  
His lips are firm and warm. I'm surprised because I always thought they'd be cool. I guess it just fits his persona.  
  
The kiss lasts for a mere second before Aya is pulling away.   
  
But there's no way I'm letting the delectable redhead go so quickly. I pull his head back down to mine and show him what I mean by a real bedtime kiss. I feel Aya's surprise at my action but I merely deepen the kiss, wrapping one arm around his waist, tugging him onto the bed with me.  
  
I lick along Aya's bottom lip, pulling on it lightly with my teeth, making an opening for my tongue to delve into his mouth. He tastes better than I ever imagined. I can't get enough. I'm ravishing his mouth desperately like there's no tomorrow. I love those little gasps he's making that let me know he's enjoying this as much as me.  
  
I slide my hand up the back of his shirt. His skin is smooth and warm. It feels heavenly.  
  
"Ken, no!" Aya breaks our torrid kiss.  
  
"Why not?" I want more of this delicious torture.  
  
"You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing," states Aya flatly.  
  
"I'm not drunk!" I exclaim indignantly, "I know what I'm doing." Even to my own ears, I sound like a child in denial.  
  
"We'll see what you can remember tomorrow." Aya removes my arms from his person and stands up. He turns away, "You've never shown any interest in me when you were sober, how can I believe you?"  
  
He turns back to stroke my cheek. "Oyasumi Ken. Sweet dreams."  
  
And then he's gone and I'm alone again.

.  
  
- tbc -  
  
[1] In the manga Yohji joined Weiss two years before Aya, and Ken was already a member and he picked a fight with Yohji when he arrived too (gotta love our feisty Kenken!), so I've just picked an arbitrary time period of three years or so since Ken was in J-league.  
  
[2] To be honest, I'm not sure how one stores things when riding a bike. I think you can get a special compartment on the bike, but I have no idea if Ken's bike has one. For the sake of this fic, let's pretend he has one, ok?  
  
Hope you are still enjoying this! Please let me know how I'm doing.


	4. Uncertainty

Chapter 4  
  
Summary: Ken's trying to dodge talking to Aya. He came home drunk last night and asked Aya to give him a bedtime kiss… which Aya did! Now it's the morning after – what's going to happen?

27.08.04 - Hugs to nitrogen narcosis, Kirei Aya, Wai (drunk Ken was fun to write!), Rosetears2218 and Don'twatchanimealot! Hope you will all enjoy this chapter too!  
  
Now onto the action…

.  
  
I hesitate at the door to the Koneko. It's a bright sunny day and I'm working the lunch shift with Yohji and… Aya.  
  
Ah… There's the source of my current uncertainty.  
  
I kissed Aya yesterday. And the most interesting thing happened. He kissed me back.  
  
It's something I would never have guessed would happen. Nope, never in a million years. Aya Fujimiya, fearless leader of Weiss. Aya, icy cold bastard who doesn't give a shit about anything but money. Could it be possible that under the icy layer, Aya might possibly have feelings… for me? I've analysed his parting comment over and over again.  
  
I'm so confused. What do I feel for Aya? Admittedly I've always been hot for the redhead. He's fucking gorgeous. But wanting to fuck somebody is just a physical activity. It could be with anybody that I pick up from the club. It's just a form of stress relief, a very pleasurable form admittedly.  
  
Do I only want his body? If it is, I should be smart enough not to get involved with my co-worker. Why am I even considering the alternative?  
  
I am barely coping with living for myself. This growing emptiness inside of me, how can I fight it? With each person I kill, another piece of my soul dies. How many pieces do I have left to lose?   
  
I don't even know how many people I've killed. I used to keep track of it when I started in Weiss, but after I hit over one hundred I stopped counting. It's better for my sanity that way.  
  
But the alternative is so… damn seductive. Imagine having someone there to love and to be loved by in return. Someone to be with so I won't be alone anymore. Yeah, I know my mind is getting ahead of itself and I don't know what Aya really feels for me, but I've been alone for so long now. Was it this faint hope keeping me from doing something stupid to myself?  
  
Whilst it sounds like nirvana, it's also scary as hell. The only person I've ever loved was Kase. I'm nervous to even venture down that path again. My heart aches from even thinking about my dead lover, killed by my own hands. I don't want to go through that much pain ever again. It wasn't just the physical pain from the fire, the emotional scars will never fade.  
  
But is Aya the person that I want to take a chance on? What have we got in common apart from Weiss?  
  
On another note, what if it doesn't work? Will it make working in Weiss difficult? I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't want to be separated from Yohji and Omi.  
  
Suddenly it seems too high a risk for me to take.  
  
Yep, the smart thing would be just to pretend that it never happened. I'll pretend that I can't remember anything. I can go out tonight, pick up some redhead and pretend he's Aya. That'll be enough for me. It'll have to be enough…   
  
Why do I feel so depressed? I know I'm doing the right thing.  
  
All this thinking and on top of that I have a hideous headache. I should have drunk some water when I got home, but no, I was distracted. Stupid Ken, thinking with your pants, not your head, I tell myself. And I can't find the aspirin in the kitchen, so I'm in a cranky mood. Nobody better mess with me today.  
  
I open the door and step into the shopfront. Yohji is chatting to a girl and Aya is watering some plants.  
  
Aya looks up as I enter. I smile uncertainly at him as I blink annoyingly at the sunlight streaming through the large windows. It's too damn bright for my poor sore head.  
  
Aya puts down the watering can and walks towards me. My lips seem to be stuck together. I hadn't envisaged a confrontation so soon. My head hurts too much for this… I'm frantically thinking of what to say.  
  
The redhead walks around me and departs the room. I'm left staring blankly at his back.  
  
What was that all about? Maybe it was just a dream? But I know it wasn't a dream. The stand of red hair that I found on my pillow this morning proved it.  
  
Suddenly I feel cold. Aya must be regretting his actions from last night. There was no need for me to have gotten myself so worked up about it. I want to laugh at myself, at how stupid I am to think that Aya would ever want anything to do with me.  
  
"Yohji. I'm going out for coffee. You want anything?" I'm at the door, looking over my shoulder impatiently for Yohji's reply.  
  
"Nope. Got everything I want with Yui-chan here."  
  
I slam the door on Yui's laughter. I'm not happy and I don't want to be reminded of another person's happiness.  
  
I enter the coffee shop and order a large cup. I was going to buy it and return to the store, but I change my mind and decide that I'm going to play truant for the morning. I sit at the booth at the back, sipping the bitter brew as I ponder the bitter brew that is my life.  
  
I sigh heavily. Ken no baka, I scold myself.  
  
I'm brought back to my senses by the excited squeals of two kids. It's Eito and Takeshi, two of the kids I coach.  
  
"Ken-nichan! What are you doing here?"  
  
They bounce over to my table. They're so young and innocent. Full of life and joy. Takeshi is holding a soccer ball. Ah, these kids make me so proud.  
  
"Eww! What are you drinking?" Eito is looking in the cup in front of me.  
  
"Hey guys. I'm on a break from work." I smile at them. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"My mum's over there. But Eito saw you so we came over!" Takeshi says pointing at his mother at the counter.  
  
"I've been practicing my kicking, Ken-nichan, and I'm gonna be the best when we practice today!" Eito says earnestly to me.  
  
"Hey, I'm gonna be the best!" Takeshi exclaims loudly, pushing his friend in the side.  
  
I laugh. "Maa maa, I'm sure you'll both be the best today. Like I always say, if you practice enough, you can be the best."  
  
"I practice all the time, even when I'm at home. But don't tell my mum 'cause she said I'm not allowed to play with the soccer ball in the house." Eito smiles innocently up at me and I'm reminded of myself. I was always practicing whenever I could when I was their age.  
  
"Let's ask my mum if we can go to the park now!" Takeshi says as he sees his mother waving at him.  
  
"We gotta go now. See you later Ken-nichan!"  
  
They run off, two kids bubbling with happiness over soccer.  
  
And I realise that I have contributed to their happiness. Me, assassin Ken Hidaka, has had a positive influence on the world.  
  
My mood lifts and I feel I can face the world again today. This is what I can remember when I feel down. I survive for these kids and soccer.   
  
I sip my coffee but it has gone cold while I've been sitting here deliberating on my life. It's time for me to be heading back now anyway.  
  
Just behave normally, I tell myself as I open the door to the Koneko.  
  
"Hey Ken. Where have you been?" Only Yohji is in the store. He's changing the position of some arrangements to move them out of the sun.  
  
"I just went to get coffee." I say weakly.  
  
"You were gone for an hour and a half to get coffee?" Yohji looks over his sunglasses at me.  
  
"Yeah. Sorry." I mumble as I head over to get my apron.  
  
I see a plate with a sandwich, a glass of water and a box of aspirin on the table. I look inquiringly at Yohji as a sinking feeling begins in my stomach.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Aya brought that in for you but you'd already left. He said you had a headache." I ignore the speculative look in Yohji's eyes as I pull my apron over my head.  
  
"But how did he know you had a headache, hmm… Kenken? And he's damn well never makes me a snack when I'm not feeling well. No, Aya usually tells me it's all my own fault and either yells at me to get back to work or ignores me." Yohji continues.  
  
"He was up when I came home last night, that's all." I say, but I can feel the tips of my ears being to flush under Yohji's scrutiny. Good thing I haven't cut my hair for a while.  
  
"Okay and you wanna explain about the sandwich?" Yohji looks amused.  
  
"Where's Aya anyway?" I change the subject, hoping that Yohji will follow my lead.  
  
"He went to do a delivery across town. It should take a while with the lunchtime traffic. Don't try to change the topic Kenken."  
  
"I wasn't changing the topic. I was just asking a question." I give Yohji a dumb jock look. Maybe that will shut him up for a while.  
  
"Sure, you think I can't spot an evasive answer? I was a PI, remember?"  
  
I'm saved by the door opening by a bunch of schoolgirls.  
  
"Yohji-san! Ken-san! Konnichiwa!"  
  
I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see a bunch of girls in the Koneko.  
  
Yohji chuckles. "Saved… for now." He saunters away to tend to his adoring fans.  
  
I turn back to the girls clambering for my attention. "Can you wait for one moment please?"  
  
I grab the plate and eat the sandwich in four bites then quickly take the aspirin. I know these girls will make my headache feel worse before they leave. And I don't want Aya to come back and think I didn't eat the sandwich he made me.  
  
I can't believe Aya made me a snack and found the aspirin for me. But I have no time to wonder about this now.  
  
"Ken-san, are you sick?"  
  
"Ken-san, what's wrong with you?"  
  
"You should go to see a doctor Ken-san!"  
  
"Aa, I'm fine. Now how can I help you?" I smile politely at the girl closet to me.  
  
After an indeterminable amount of time, the girls are served and leave. I sigh happily as the bell tinkles behind the last of them.  
  
"So you wanna tell me about it yet Kenken?" drawls Yohji.  
  
"There's nothing to tell!" I exclaim hotly.  
  
"I've seen the way you look at Aya. And I've seen the way Aya looks at you." Yohji shrugs casually.  
  
"And how is that?" I exclaim sarcastically. Inside my heart is beating just a little bit faster. Could Yohji have discovered my secret desire for Aya? But I've only just worked it out for myself that I want more than just his body. There's no way Yohji could know that.  
  
I force myself to look Yohji in the eye without flinching.  
  
"You guys look at each other in much the same way that Asuka and I did, before we got together." Yohji states matter-of-factly.  
  
Oh. Asuka was the love of Yohji's life. His former partner in the PI business. She was killed and Yohji was left for dead. Kritiker saved him and he was brought to Weiss. Yohji told me the story once when we were out getting really drunk together. He's never mentioned it again and I've never brought up the topic.  
  
I remain speechless. What can I say? Could it be true?  
  
Yohji sighs. "Look I didn't mean to put you on the spot and make you feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to tell you that if there's a chance you can be happy with Aya then you should go for it. In our line of work, you need something to hold onto if you're going to survive." He looks over his sunglasses at me and his green eyes look tired.  
  
I realise that I'm not the only person to have regrets about killing. Actually it's stupid for me to think I was.  
  
"Thanks man. I appreciate that, but I don't know if what you say is true. Haven't you always said fearless leader's a cold icicle? What makes you think he cares about anything other than money?"  
  
"I've been observing you guys for a while. And today's incident clinched it. I saw the disappointed look in his eyes when you disappeared before he came back. Oh, he tried to disguise it but he wasn't quite quick enough. Not for the Kudou anyway."  
  
Yohji's revelation reverberates in my head. Aya was disappointed that I ran off?  
  
The door to the shop opens and a middle aged woman enters.  
  
"Irrashaimase!" we call in unison.  
  
"All yours buddy." I wave an arm at Yohji.  
  
"Well you better do those orders on the table then."  
  
I grab the notebook with orders and sigh. This will keep me busy for a few hours. I settle down to work.  
  
I wonder when Aya will come back.  
  
When the shop is empty again, I ask "Where's Aya? Shouldn't he be back by now?"  
  
"Ah, he mentioned he had to do something after the delivery and he would be back later. Didn't specify a time. Why? Missing him already?"  
  
I foresee a period of teasing from Yohji. I'm not looking forward to it. So I ignore him and concentrate on the work in front of me.  
  
When I'm finishing up, I catch a glimpse of the clock. "What! Look at the time. I gotta go to soccer training now. I should be back around six. See ya Yotan."  
  
I'm actually early for coaching, but I just had to get away from Yohji. The man is too damn perceptive. He's right about me, but can I believe what he says about Aya?  
  
My afternoon passes in my most favourite way. Soccer and kids. I truly love them.  
  
It's around six when I get back home.  
  
Omi and Aya are now manning the store. Omi gives me his usual genki greeting. Aya ignores me. Oh well, what did I expect?  
  
I walk over to Aya. "Umm… Aya… Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
He looks at me but his eyes are unreadable. "I'm busy."  
  
"It'll just take a minute."   
  
Finally Aya nods.  
  
"In the kitchen?" I don't want to say anything in front of Omi.  
  
Aya nods again and gestures for me to precede him out of the room.  
  
When we get there, I'm still uncertain what I'm going to say. I take a deep breath.  
  
"I just wanted to thank you for helping me last night and for thinking of me this morning. I was pretty drunk."  
  
Aya's expression remains set in its usual expressionless mask.  
  
"Is that all?" is all he says in reply.  
  
He's so aloof. Have I already burnt the bridge for any chance with the redhead? I merely nod.  
  
"Well don't do it again. Weiss can't afford that kind of liability."  
  
I'm bristling at his high-handed tone. "But Yohji does it all the time and you don't do anything about him!"  
  
Aya glares at me. "He's not a habitual drunk. And besides he can handle it. You however cannot."  
  
"How do you know I can't handle it?" I declare belligerently. "I can handle a lot of things."  
  
Aya just gives me a look. It annoys me.  
  
"I could handle that amount of beer last night and more." I declare blithely.   
  
"Could you now?" Oops. Aya sounds dangerous now.  
  
"Yes I can." I ignore the warning and defend myself. I'm not scared of Aya.  
  
I glare back at Aya and the glaring battle is on.  
  
"So how much do you remember from last night?" Aya seems to be forcing the words out.  
  
That sentence discharges the tension from me. I don't know what to say. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Should I admit the truth or not?  
  
Suddenly the kitchen door opens and Omi enters the room.  
  
"Aya-kun. Ken-kun. Manx is here."  
  
I've been given a reprieve again. The gods seem to be looking after me today.  
  
I move to follow Omi to the basement but Aya grabs my arm.  
  
"We'll finish this later."

.  
  
- tbc -

.  
  
Author's note: Yes, I'm an awful person aren't I? Finishing this chapter like that. Gomenesai! But Ken wanted to angst some more and who was I to deny the poor boy his fair share of angst? But don't worry, Aya's gonna pin him down sooner or later, or will it be the other way around?  
  
Your comments are always valued and appreciated! Arigatou gozaimasu!

I've just posted a new WK oneshot PWP that I've written (first new WK ficcage in months!) so I would like it if you went to check it out and let me know what you think. It's called 'On the Train' and it features Ken and...


	5. Revelations

Chapter 5  
  
Summary: Ken is confused by what he feels for Aya. He has made up his mind to not do anything, but Yohji's confession that he sees the attraction between the two has confused him again. A mission has been given, so Ken's been given a reprieve from the talk that Aya wants to have with him. What will Ken decide?  
  
21.08.04 - Hugs to:

Rosetears2218 - Umm... I actually had lemon goodness in chapter 6 - but this fic got pulled because of it - so when I repost it'll be very tame - I can mail you the original version if you like

Tenxjigoku - Sorry for the late update! I can only blame uni and trying to finish my other WK fic - but I was very amused that you take my little story to school!

Sand Panda - Thank you for liking my fic! And yes this fic is actually finished, and the next (and last) chapter will be posted very soon!

... (grr... am not liking this QuickEdit tool at all...)

I'm poised in position behind the crates. Omi is nearby with his arrow gun at the ready.  
  
It's an easy mission. Kritiker had all the information, all they needed were the assassins to go kill the bad guys.  
  
It really must be my lucky day. I've been paired with Omi, not Aya or Yohji. And it wasn't even my suggestion. Omi said we needed long range weapons teamed with short range weapons and said he will be my partner. That left Aya and Yohji together. Aya's all business when we're on a mission and Yohji wouldn't ask Aya anything, I think.  
  
Some henchmen enter the room. I look at Omi and he nods. On the count of three, we jump out and engage them in combat. I spin, dive and slash out at the bodies in front of me. I aim for their chests, ripping through soft flesh, disregarding their cries of pain.  
  
It's over in a matter of minutes. Six bodies on the floor with blood pooling around three of them. Omi's weapon is a hell of a lot more humane than mine.  
  
By mutual agreement, Omi and I move through the warehouse to the planned point of contact with the target at his office.  
  
Suddenly the sound of gunfire is heard from outside.  
  
"Guns," I murmur, "Damn." Guns are messy. That's a bit ironic coming from me, huh?  
  
"Abyssinian. Balinese. Report status. Over." Omi initiates the contact with the other half of our team.  
  
"Bombay. Unexpected backup troops have arrived. Probably about twenty or so. They are armed with hand guns. Half of them are headed into the warehouse. Abyssinian and I will handle the others out here. Over." Yohji's voice is even over the line.  
  
Great. Trust Kritiker to give us wrong information on such an easy mission.  
  
My claws are already dripping with blood. What's a little more to decorate them with?  
  
Together Omi and I move in sync through the maze of crates. We develop a pattern for our kills. Omi disarms them first and I move in to end their misery.  
  
I barely wince when a stray bullet hits my thigh. I fling myself at the shooter and bury my bugnuks in his stomach. I rip upwards and the man speaks no more.  
  
"Siberian! Are you okay?" Omi is looking at the blood soaking my blue jeans.  
  
"It's fine. Flesh wound only. Let's go." I block out the pain and keep moving.  
  
By the time we've taken out the target, the pain has increased substantially. I rip off a piece off the dead man's shirt and bind it around my leg in a rough bandage. That'll have to do until we get back. It's only a flesh wound, thank goodness, but it's a ripped away a big piece of my flesh. Ouch.  
  
We meet the other two in the designated rendezvous point. Yohji is smoking and Aya is just standing there expressionless in the night.  
  
"New accessory for your outfit, ne Kenken?" Yohji eyes the red spotted rag on my leg.  
  
"You're so funny Yohji." I glare at him but there's no heat in it. I need to get home and fix the hole in my leg.  
  
"Mission accomplished. Let's go home, and stop teasing Ken-kun." Omi pulls Yohji away towards the car.  
  
I almost smile at the way Yohji obeys Omi's command with alacrity.  
  
Aya falls into step with me. There's a crescent moon tonight. Just enough light to see the colour of his hair, not enough to see the expression in his eyes.  
  
"What happened?" is all he says.  
  
"Damn bastard got lucky, that's all." I say nonchalantly. But then I spoil the effect by wincing as I stumble on a patch of uneven ground.  
  
Aya grabs my arm and places his around my waist supporting me. His touch is firm and I lean gratefully on his strength. Together we make it to the car.  
  
Omi is pulling out the substantial first aid kit from the Seven, but I shake my head when he approaches me.  
  
"It's fine. Let's just go home. I'll fix it there."  
  
Omi shrugs and puts the kit away.  
  
On the ride here, it was Omi and me in the back as we went through some last minute plans. Since I'm injured, I now get the front seat. I settle onto the seat as low as I can, leaning my knee against the dashboard, elevating my thigh. I press one hand against my wound in an effort to stem the flow of blood and close my eyes.  
  
"Hey don't be bleeding over my upholstery now Kenken."  
  
"Just shut up and drive, Kudou." Aya speaks before I have a chance to respond.  
  
When we arrive home, my hand is damp. I clamber out of the Seven and head gingerly for the bathroom to get my wound cleaned up.  
  
An arm wraps around my waist.  
  
"Let me help you, Ken-kun." It's only Omi.  
  
I nod and we slowly manoeuvre up the stairs.  
  
"I'll leave you to get out your clothes first. I'll be back in a minute." Omi blinks big blue worried eyes at me and I am touched.  
  
"It's just a flesh wound. I've had worse. I can probably fix it myself. Thanks for helping me up the stairs." I wave him out of the room. "Go and check up on the others, and then you better get to the mission report before bed. You do have school tomorrow you know."  
  
"Are you sure? I can miss a day of school." Omi hesitates by the door.  
  
I paste on a reassuring smile. "Yep, go do your thing."  
  
"I'll come back and see how you're doing a bit later then."  
  
I nod as Omi closes the door. I limp to the sink to wash my hands before I do anything. The blood taints the soap a pink colour. I watch as the bubbles clear as they go down the sink. I wish it was that easy to wash my guilt away.  
  
I pull off my goggles and then shrug off my leather jacket. My jacket's splattered with blood. I drop it on the floor with the bloody sides tucked in against each other. I don't like to get blood everywhere. It's just a habit of mine. Nobody in this house needs more blood to clean up.  
  
Next is my orange sweater. This sweater is an idiosyncrasy of mine. It's my lucky charm. I can't do a mission without it. I can't explain it, I just feel lucky when I have it on.  
  
I'm still considering how to pull my boots off without jarring my leg as I tug my dark blue t-shirt over my head.  
  
Now to tackle the boots. I sit on the edge of the bathtub and pull off the boot on my uninjured leg. Easy. But I'll have to bend the other leg to get the other off. I'm angling down trying to minimise the stretch in my thigh. I'm not careful enough. The skin near the wound pulls and tears causing the bleeding to begin again.  
  
I swear under my breath. But at least my boots are off. I pull off my socks slowly.  
  
I'm not looking forward to getting these jeans off. The bullet was fired at close range and whilst I'm lucky it didn't lodge in my thigh, it did blaze quite a trail through my flesh. I untie the makeshift bandage and examine the hole in my leg. One side of the wound is bleeding a little again and the other side has dried and is sticking to my jeans.  
  
I press down on the bleeding and also try pulling the dried side away, but it hurts. I grit my teeth as I contemplate how to rip it off my leg when there's a knock at the door.  
  
"It's open. Ne… Omi, can you give me a hand with this?" I'm still occupied with trying to gently pull the edge of the hole in my jeans out of the wound.  
  
"You may need these. The jeans will probably have to be thrown away anyway."  
  
I blink in shock at the sound of Aya's deep smooth voice and look up to find the redhead holding a pair of scissors in his hand.  
  
"Stop pulling. It looks like the wound has formed a scab already. Let me take a look at it."  
  
The next thing I know is Aya is kneeling on the floor examining my thigh as I sit on the edge of the bathtub. I look down on his red hair and realise his face is only centimetres from my groin.  
  
Ooh. That's a pleasant connotation. If he'd only move back just a bit, he'd be in a position I've often dreamed he would be…  
  
Aya looks up. "Ken, are you okay? Is it very painful?"  
  
I open my eyes. Aya's eyes look concerned.  
  
"It's nothing. I've had worse injuries. I just wish my bloody jeans weren't stuck in the bloody wound."  
  
"You'll have to soak them off. That will cause less stress to the wound. I'll start the bath and then I'll cut around your jeans for you. Keep pressing on the bleeding so it will stop before you get in the bath."  
  
It's nice to be doctored by Aya. It doesn't happen often. Actually it hasn't happened for a damn long time. Probably 'cause I'm such an excellent assassin and haven't got any big injuries for a while, or is it just that fools are lucky?  
  
Generally we help whoever needs it. I've had Yohji and Omi patch me up before and vice versa. I can count the number of times I've doctored Aya on the fingers of one hand. He doesn't like people touching him, so we've only needed to assist him when it was a big hit. And every time I was with someone, so no time to drool over his hot body by myself. But I'm not that much of an ecchi to think those kinds of thoughts when the main concern is to get wounds cleansed, flesh stitched together again and limbs bandaged up.  
  
Aya's hands are gentle as he cuts through my jeans. I close my eyes and imagine those hands on other parts of my body.  
  
"All done."  
  
I'm awakened from my temporary daydream to find Aya's hand in front of my face. I obey the silent command and he pulls me upright.  
  
"I'll help you get cleaned up then you can soak in the tub until the cloth comes away from the wound."  
  
"Aya, I didn't know you were that eager to get your hands on my body." I wink suggestively at him.  
  
Surprisingly Aya blushes. What the fuck? Is this a dream?  
  
I pinch myself surreptitiously. Nope I'm definitely awake. Though the throbbing in my thigh should have been enough to tell me that.  
  
I notice that his eyes seem drawn to my naked chest. How much more did I miss when I had my eyes closed?  
  
Whilst I don't mind Aya seeing me half naked, I don't really want to explain about some other interesting scars on my legs. That would lead to a discussion that I've been avoiding.  
  
"It's fine I can manage. Thanks for your help." I take pity on a pink-cheeked Aya.  
  
"I… I want to help you Ken."  
  
"It's fine. Really. You've done enough. I can manage."  
  
Aya gives me a slightly uncertain look. But he leaves, closing the door with a quiet click.  
  
I pull off my jeans and underwear. I clean quickly using the hand shower, washing off as much blood and sweat as I can. Then I settle into the tub.  
  
The water stings the open wound, but it dulls to an ache after a few minutes. Like I told Omi, this is nothing.  
  
I sink into the warm water enjoying the way it soothes my sore muscles. I settle in for a long soak. Plenty of time for considering the paradox that is Aya Fujimiya.  
  
I can't understand the man. This week has been a real interesting time. One minute he's just being his normal asshole Weiss leader self, next he's blushing as he offers to help me clean up. I remember the surprised look on his face at the club when I placed his hand on my groin and the fury on his face when he slammed me against the wall after my little chase scene.  
  
Then there's the issue of his imouto. Why did he tell me? I don't think any of the others knows. Nope, if Yohji or Omi had known they would have told me, I'm sure.  
  
I recall the way he responded to my provoking during our shopping trip and the way he felt holding onto me on the back of my bike. And that's the day he kissed me. I cannot believe that Aya Fujimiya would kiss me. Just goes to show, you should always ask, huh? Even now, it just blows my mind. Admittedly he was pulling away after only a second, but I felt his response to my kiss after I grabbed him back for a proper kiss.  
  
And there's the fact he thought of me when I had a headache this morning. Of course, being the cool emotionless type, he didn't say anything before he left, thus making me think that he was mad, so I left. What a farce. But I can't deny the happiness bubbling through me at the memory of the waiting food and drugs for me.  
  
Oh and he's still trying to 'talk' to me as well. But that's the Weiss leader wanting to talk to me. The question is, is his concern for Siberian or Ken?  
  
I soak in the tub until the skin on my fingertips resembles wrinkly prunes.  
  
I hop gingerly out of the tub and dry off carefully. I easily dress my wound with the amply stocked first aid kit and wrap the bandage securely around my thigh.  
  
I wrap the towel around my waist in the absence of clean clothes and open the door.  
  
"I'm finished in the bathroom," I yell.  
  
Yohji appears at the bottom of the staircase. "About time. What were you doing in there?"  
  
I put on a hurt face. "I'm injured, remember?"  
  
Yohji looks contrite. "Oh shit yeah. You okay, Kenken?" He comes up the stairs to give me a hand.  
  
I make a play of limping forward a few steps. "Yeah, but I'm hungry. Do you think you could make me something to eat Yotan?"  
  
"Sure buddy. What do you want?"  
  
"Some ramen would be great."  
  
Yohji nods and I suppress a smile at his gullibility.  
  
"I'd better get dressed." I make a move to hobble to my room.  
  
"Nah, come as you are." Yohji looks appraisingly at my bare chest. He lowers his voice to a whisper, "Aya was in the kitchen before. It's the perfect opportunity to dazzle him with your manly chest."  
  
I laugh at Yohji's exaggerated wink, but I follow him down the stairs to the kitchen.  
  
"So you're gonna go for it?" I'm not surprised by Yohji's quiet comment. After all I did just agree to his plan to come down to the kitchen just wrapped in my towel.  
  
"I need to think on it some more. But thanks for your concern Yotan. It means a lot to me."  
  
"Anytime Kenken. I know all manner of seduction plans if you need any help." Yohji is wiggling his eyebrows at me now.  
  
I'm still smiling when we arrive at the kitchen, which is unoccupied.  
  
"Oh well. The best laid plans." I shrug and move to get some noodles, meat and vegetables out of the fridge.  
  
"I'll do it for you, injured boy." I know that Yohji's realised I'm not seriously hurt by the emphasis he puts on the word injured. "You move pretty fast for someone injured."  
  
"Well as long as I have the right incentive." It's kinda nice to be able to talk so freely in front of Yohji. "Hey Yohji I can do it. You go use the bathroom."  
  
"It's cool. Sit down. Rest your leg. Besides Omi's gonna come in soon to get any extra information for the report. So I may as well hang around. And I have to say that I'm a better cook than you Kenken."  
  
"Oi!" Yohji laughs at my annoyed tone.  
  
Soon enough Omi enters the room. After fussing over me, he asks his questions from the mission.  
  
After that's settled, Omi joins us to eat. It's quite pleasant sitting here chatting with these two, but I can't help looking at the empty chair and wishing Aya was here with us.  
  
Lucky for me, Yohji asks the question. "Where's Aya?"  
  
"After he checked on Ken for me, he gave me his information from the mission then went to his room."  
  
Oh so he only came to check on me because Omi asked him to? I feel like a see-saw with the way my emotions keep changing direction. I don't like it.  
  
I finish my noodles. Now they feel like a weight in my stomach.  
  
"Thanks Yohji. I might go to my room now. My leg's hurting a bit, I should elevate it."  
  
"Your face looks a bit pale Ken-kun. Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. Don't worry." I wave off their concern.  
  
"I'll take your morning shift tomorrow Ken-kun. Don't worry about getting up until you feel like it." Omi's such a sweet kid.  
  
"Thanks Omitchi. You'll be working with Yohji. Keep him in line now. Oh and you might need to wake him up in the morning to make sure he gets up."  
  
"Oh I'll make sure he gets up all right."  
  
Hmm. Was that a double meaning there? Nah. I have such an ecchi mind. I glance at Yohji to gauge his reaction.  
  
"The only way you'll get me up that early is if you send a gorgeous scantily-clad lady to wake me. But then I might be late anyway…" Yohji gives Omi one of his patented sexy exaggerated winks.  
  
Omi doesn't even blink. "Well you might miss seeing me in the new outfit I bought today then. I found a store selling the clothes that Shindou-kun wears."  
  
"Shindou-kun? You mean Shuichi Shindou? The lead singer from that band Bad Luck?" I ask.  
  
Omi smiles sweetly. "Shindou-kun is so kawaii."  
  
Yeah. The pink-haired singer is cute… but I recollect his outfits as being on the skimpy side. Very short shorts and midriff singlets, if I recall correctly.  
  
I see Yohji noticeably swallow. Oh he remembers too. We watched a music show on television a few weeks ago featuring said band. I noticed Yohji's fixation on Shindou. Shindou looks a little bit like Omi.  
  
"Omitchi… That outfit might not be suitable for working in the shop."  
  
"How can you say that? You haven't even seen it yet?!" Omi's big blue eyes suddenly glisten with unshed tears.  
  
"I'm gonna go now guys. Play nice now." I feel like a third wheel.  
  
"Oyasumi Ken-kun!"  
  
"See ya Kenken."  
  
I head out the door and stand just out of sight, shamelessly eavesdropping on the continuing conversation.  
  
"How do you know I won't look good Yohji-kun?" Omi's almost purring. Woah. Yohji's in trouble.  
  
"I'm sure you'll look great chibi." Yep, Yohji's back pedalling fast.  
  
"Maybe you better come and check it out. You're such a fashionable guy. You'll be able to give me a true opinion." Omi pauses for a second and I smile to myself thinking of Yohji's reaction. "I'll even model it for you."  
  
At that statement drawled by Omi, I straighten up and shuffle soundlessly to the stairs. I don't want to be caught by those two.  
  
Well I guessed that Omi was going to notice that Yohji wasn't immune to his boyish good looks and lithe figure. Looks like I was right.  
  
I feel happy and sad at the same time as I walk back to my room. I'm happy because like Yohji said to me, we do need something to hold onto to survive in this life. And those two will be very cute together. But their togetherness just reminds me of all I don't have.  
  
There's no light from the gap under Aya's door. He must've gone to bed already. Can my heart sink any lower?  
  
I open my door but I don't turn on the lights. I'm happy in the dark and the weak moonlight provides enough illumination for me.  
  
I go to the wardrobe and pull out clean clothes for bed.  
  
I drop the towel as I put on my shorts.  
  
"What's that scar on your thigh?" Aya's deep voice comes from behind me.  
  
What the fuck?! I spin around dropping the T-shirt on the floor.  
  
Aya is standing against the wall beside the window. He blends in with the shadows, no wonder I didn't notice him.  
  
"What scar? I only have this wound." I gesture at the bandage on my thigh.  
  
I lean over to pick up my shirt, but give up as Aya approaches me.  
  
Aya gives me a hard look. He grasps my shoulder.  
  
"I'm not talking about the bandage. Don't think you can fool me Ken. I'm talking about the row of red scars on your other leg."  
  
"Must be from one of the last missions. It's nothing."  
  
"You didn't get injured on any of the last missions. What are you doing to yourself, baka?"  
  
"Nothing. What the fuck do you care anyway? There's no impact on my performance in Weiss or the Koneko, so just leave it alone." I break out of his grasp angrily.  
  
"I can't." Aya shakes his head as he looks at me. "Ken, I know what it's like to be all alone in the world. Don't lose yourself to the darkness."  
  
His words take the defiance out of me. I walk over to my bed and sit on the mattress against the wall stretching my legs out in front of me.  
  
"What do you know about what I'm feeling?" I laugh derisively. "You only care about getting revenge on Reiji Takatori."  
  
Aya sits on the end of my bed, facing me. The moonlight shines on his beautiful red hair giving it an ethereal glow.  
  
"That's not completely true. When my parents were killed by Takatori and my sister was injured, I was completely alone in the world. No one wanted anything to do with me. The son of a disgraced banker. I lost my reputation, home and family in one fell swoop. I know what you're feeling Ken." Aya's voice trails off.  
  
I say nothing. I'm gripped by Aya's life story.  
  
He continues. "I felt like killing myself. It was an easy solution. But what if my sister woke up? How could she survive without me? So I had to be strong and live for her sake. I had to find a job that paid a lot of money to pay for her medical bills. And I did want to get revenge for my family. Lucky that Birman found me before I got myself killed. I was brought to Weiss and that's my story."  
  
"See, at least you have a reason for living. For your sister. Me? I don't have anything." It's so easy to be sitting here in the dark, talking to Aya. Almost like a dream.  
  
"I really wanted to believe Kase. He was my lover, you know. I can't believe he wanted me dead." The words spill out of me and I can't prevent them.  
  
"I know what he meant to you Ken." Aya's quiet voice soothes my frazzled nerves.  
  
"How do you know?" I ask.  
  
"I followed you every time you met up with him," is the reply.  
  
"You did?" I give him an incredulous look.  
  
"What can I say? I'm good at following you."  
  
"And there's Yuriko. I could be riding bikes in Australia with her right now." I sigh. "But there's too much blood on my hands. It would only taint her innocence. She got caught up in that Freunde mission. I'm glad she got out. But still there's another person I care for removed from my life."  
  
"Ken you're not alone. You have me and the other members of Weiss."  
  
I laugh again. I know that Omi and Yohji care for me, but I want to provoke Aya. "A genki kid, a playboy and you? You must be kidding. This is the first time you've ever mentioned how you came to Weiss. I asked you a few times but you never answered. And how long has it taken? Nearly one year."  
  
"Everyone has their past and it takes some of us longer to get over it than others." Aya sounds a bit pissed off now.  
  
I shake myself from my thoughts. "Yeah yeah. Well consider your job done, fearless leader. I'll be fine."  
  
"Don't call me that. I'm not here on behalf of Weiss." Yep, Aya is definitely pissed off now.  
  
"So why are you here?" Why won't my mouth shut up?  
  
Aya looks at his hands. "I'm here as a friend."  
  
I smirk. "Oh right. You don't know anything about me, friend." I put emphasis on the word friend. I wonder if he'll get it.  
  
"I know you're happiest playing soccer with the children you coach. I know you are loyal to those that you trust. You want to protect people from the bad things in the world. You're hot-headed and a bit reckless, but you easily charm the customers in the store to buy things. I know these things, and what I don't know, I want to know. Let me in Ken. I do want to be your friend."  
  
It might just be my imagination running away, but there's something about the way Aya's voice lingers and draws out the word friend.  
  
"I'm not looking for a friend Aya."  
  
I note the sudden stillness in Aya's body. He makes a move to rise from the bed, but I've anticipated this and move forward to grab his wrist.  
  
I use my other hand to skim down his cheek on his down-turned face. When I reach his chin, I tilt his face towards mine, but he stubbornly keeps his gaze away from me.  
  
"I'm looking for more than that. I need someone who can understand me, see the good and bad in me, and accept that. And to help me accept the things I've done. I've spilled so much blood, the guilt is overwhelming me. I need a reason to go on living."  
  
Aya is looking at me fully now. I run my fingers over his lips before I release his wrist. Will this be the last time I feel their softness? I move back and settle back into my original position against the wall.  
  
This is the first time since Kase that I've opened myself up to someone. Time seems to be frozen as I wait for Aya's response.  
  
"Ken… I never realised you felt this way. You always seemed so happy. Smiling all the time, but it was just a mask wasn't it? Just like mine…"  
  
Aya leans over on the bed until he's leaning on his elbows, looking up at me. He pulls himself up onto all fours and moves towards me until he's barely two inches from my face.  
  
I stop breathing as I watch his slow approach.  
  
"If you won't live for you, then will you live for me?" Aya says before his head descends and I feel his lips brush across mine.  
  
If I was surprised before when Aya humoured my drunken request, now I am completely blasted away. Aya's lips are warm, smooth and pliant as they move against mine.  
  
I grab his head and pull him against me for a full satisfying kiss. His lips are once again perfect against mine, our tongues tangling together, drowning me in a new definition of pleasure.  
  
Seconds, minutes, or hours later, we stop to gasp for breath and I gaze into Aya's slightly dazed eyes. I return to licking his bottom lip before I'm once again grinding my mouth against his, moving to new angles as my tongue tastes the sweetness of his mouth again and again.  
  
I pull at his shirt. I want it off to feel the body that I've been dreaming about.  
  
Aya sits back on his heels as he pulls off his black top. I don't think I've ever seen anything as sexy as Aya dressed only in black pants sitting on my bed.  
  
I'm about to grab him, but Aya places a hand against my chest.  
  
"Ken, can we take this a bit slower please?" He's almost whispering. "It's been a while since I've allowed myself to be close to anyone."  
  
The ice around my heart is melting away. For now I have nothing but the beautiful redhead in my arms, and strangely it's enough.  
  
- tbc -  
  
Author's note: I apologise for any inaccuracies with Ken's bullet wound. I've no experience with them, so I hope it sounded okay. Thanks to my ne-chan Moonraven for her wonderful help with it! Don't want Ken bleeding to death in a bathtub – that's not a dignified way for an assassin to go!  
  
Since Yuki made it into my story in a previous chapter, Shu-chan demanded an entry too! Hope you enjoyed it!  
  
And if you're desperate for more Aya-Ken, maybe you can go read my other unfinished Aya-Ken called 'Unexpected' or my new oneshot 'On the Train'. I'd appreciate it! (blushes slightly at the shameless self-promotion)  
  
Ok, enough babbling from me now… 


	6. Epilogue

Chapter 6 – Epilogue  
  
Summary: Ken was injured on last night's mission and Aya finally catches Ken in his room and forces the talk on him. Confidences are shared and attraction revealed. Now for the morning after!

Hugs to Moonraven, Medusa Davenport and Wai-Aki!

13.09.04 - Last chapter finally! Edited for sexual content (which was really tame to begin with). The full version will be posted on my website which will be up soon, else you can mail me for the full version.  
  
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It's early in the morning when I wake. My leg is throbbing and I shift to try to ease the ache. As I turn, my knee connects with a large warm object.  
  
I turn my head to gaze at the sleeping man next to me. The ruffled red locks are splayed on the pillow. In sleep, Aya's stern features are relaxed and he looks at peace. I never imagined that he could look so young and innocent.  
  
He murmurs in his sleep and turns over causing the covers to shift, leaving one bare white shoulder exposed. And I know he's not wearing anything except a pair of briefs under the covers. My thoughts are now anything but innocent. I'm getting a different sort of ache now.  
  
Last night was a monumental night as both Aya and I took a chance on each other and revealed our feelings. If you'd have told me last week that Aya would be in my bed this morning, I'd have told you that you were crazy and delusional.  
  
After our revealing confessions I was all for consummating our newfound relationship but it seemed fate, after being so kind all day, had other ideas. Seems my lunge for Aya wasn't appreciated by my leg. The wound had reopened from the sudden movement and had soaked through the bandage by the time I realised. Well actually it was Aya who discovered it, I was preoccupied by other things at the time and my pain threshold is quite high.  
  
I've already learnt two things about Aya. One is that he's got fantastic night vision. I mean, I knew it was good, having been his partner numerous times on missions, but I didn't realise it was that good. How did he see the blood coming through the bandage in an unlit room on a night with only a dull crescent moon?  
  
It was no surprise that Aya can be a really stubborn bastard. After I was re-bandaged, he flatly refused to continue with our previous activities. I could hear him muttering about injured idiots with too many hormones as he stalked to the bathroom for the fresh bandages.  
  
The second thing was an eye opener. Seems our fearless leader is a closet snuggler. I was resigned to a quiet night but my heart gave the biggest thump when Aya snuggled up to me, putting his arm around my chest and resting his cheek on my shoulder. Even when I moved, he'd just resettle back around me. My theory on this is that since Aya's cut himself from people, he hasn't been getting enough human contact. Just things like a simple touch, his body is craving it. But no complaints here, it felt so right for him to be in my arms. And that's how I fell asleep.  
  
But now I'm awake. I peek down the covers at my thigh. The bandages are still snowy white. Good. However the pain is still there. I could get out of bed and take some painkillers, but I think I'll go for the natural method this morning.  
  
I roll onto my side so I'm facing Aya who is also lying on his side. I smooth away the errant strands of hair covering his eyes. Damn, he looks good. I could get used to waking up to such a beautiful sight.  
  
I feather light kisses down his cheek as I smooth my palm down his back. Aya's skin is absolutely delicious. It's intoxicating me, combining with the heady scent that is Aya.  
  
Aya lets out a small moan but remains sleepily unaware of the plans I have for him.  
  
I gently push him onto his back and continue my path of kisses down from his face. I linger on his neck, nibbling and sucking on the firm skin. My hands are busy exploring his shoulders and down his chest to his stomach.  
  
"Ken… Aa… That's good…" Aya is waking up now. I like the little sounds of pleasure he makes. Even more, I love the way he says my name in that husky voice. I want to hear him call my name when I'm inside his body.  
  
I drop my head and let my mouth follow the path taken by my hands. I've reached one brown nipple and am happily exploring it when a hand settles on my hair, pulling to get my attention.  
  
"Ken no baka! What the hell are you doing?"  
  
I look up to Aya's face which is displaying a combination of concern, exasperation, passion and sleepiness.  
  
I deliberately lick his nipple again. "If you don't know what I'm doing, then you're a lot slower than I gave you credit for."  
  
"But you're injured! How can you be so blasé about your health, baka! Here let me check your leg."  
  
But I refuse to move from my position and I move the lower half of my body over Aya's, pinning him down. I do have more muscle than him, but I know that Aya isn't protesting very hard because he's worried about hitting my leg.  
  
"I've already checked it. I'm not stupid enough to contemplate making love to you if I was going to be bleeding all over you." I wrinkle my nose at the thought.  
  
Aya sighs. "I just think you shouldn't be moving around so much while your injury is still fresh. I want you to be careful. I don't want to see you in any more pain." He traces a finger down my face.  
  
I cave in on seeing the pleading look in those amethyst eyes. I reluctantly roll off Aya's legs and wiggle up until my head is back on its pillow.  
  
"Fine fine," I grouch.  
  
"You're so impatient. Now I want you to be good and not move around, okay?"  
  
"I already said I wouldn't. How many times do you want me to say it?" My tone is grumpy at Aya for not letting me continue playing with his body. But it's just silly. How could I be mad at Aya for caring about me? I should be glad that one of us has sense because I probably could reopen my wound again.  
  
"Thank you Aya. You're right, of course. I'll be good, I promise." My smile is reluctant but no less sincere.  
  
"How is your leg feeling?" Aya asks as he peeks under the covers at the limb in question.  
  
"Oi! Wanna start something huh babe?" I raise an eyebrow suggestively.  
  
Aya smiles as he shakes his head in mock dismay. Ooh! My first full Aya smile. It's absolutely exquisite in the morning light. God, his face is transformed when he smiles. It's gorgeous normally, but now it's downright heart-thumping beautiful, and the thing that makes it the best is that this smile is just for me. My heart skips a beat and I'm sure I've stopped breathing.  
  
"Ken?" Aya looks worriedly at me.  
  
"Aa… It's throbbing a little. Maybe I should get some painkillers." Back to the boring method of pain relief for me.  
  
"Hn." What is that smirk I see on Aya's face? Why isn't he getting out of bed, but instead moving closer to me?  
  
"Let's see if I can distract you from your pain for a while. Remember your promise," is the last thing Aya says before his hand disappears under the covers to trail down my chest.  
  
"Nani?" I'm astonished, shocked and starting to feel very hopeful. "I can't move? Aya, that's not fair!"  
  
"Deal with it. You got yourself shot, so you have to be good and lie still, while I… take care of you." Aya runs his teeth lightly over my earlobe and I shiver in reaction and anticipation.  
  
His unoccupied hand reaches for my face and he tilts my face so that our faces are in alignment.  
  
Aya bends his head and once again we're caught up in discovering just how much passion there is between us. Our mouths slide back and forth against each other and it's perfect. There's just no other way to describe it.  
  
I gasp as Aya's other hand reaches the top of my boxer briefs. But he stops there and is just playing with the elastic and toying with the faint smattering of hair on my lower belly. He's such a tease. I endure the sweet torture for as long as I can, enjoying the way his fingers feel against my skin.  
  
But two can play this game.  
  
Aya's curled up on his side pressed against me. I can feel his hardness pressing against my hip.  
  
I want to drive him as mad as he's making me.  
  
I reach over and press my hand against him, rubbing slowly.  
  
"Ken…" Now it's Aya's turn to gasp. Good.  
  
Aya's breathing is erratic, his eyes are closed and his cheeks are slightly flushed. He looks eminently desirable.  
  
Oh well, screw that promise. I push him onto his back and reverse our positions. I pull off the covers and move down his body.  
  
"Ken… you can't… your leg…" Aya manages to get the words out.  
  
There's no way I'm going to stop now. I stopped noticing my leg a while ago.  
  
"It's fine. I mustn't be doing a very good job if you can still remember that. I'll have to work harder."  
  
Aya lets out a deep moan as I move lower. He doesn't last long under my ministrations.  
  
I straighten up and kiss my way up his body, back to his lips.  
  
"You… are… delicious…" I punctuate each word with a kiss.  
  
Aya opens slightly dazed eyes. "Ken no baka."  
  
"Hey! What kind of comment is that for your new lover?" I give him an affronted look.  
  
"Your leg is injured. Now let me look at it." Aya sits up and leans over to peer at my leg. This time I don't say anything. "You know, you broke your promise," he remarks conversationally.  
  
"I'm sorry." I give him my puppy-dog look, but I can't maintain it for very long. "Wasn't it worth it?" I waggle my eyebrows.  
  
"Ken." Aya gives me a stern look, but I see the passion in his eyes as he gazes back at me. "Since you broke your word, I'll have to… punish you."  
  
That's all the warning I get. Ah, turnabout is fair play.

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I wake up again and it's now late morning. The sun is shining brightly through and it's an absolutely beautiful day.  
  
I feel different today. There's a lightness within me, a feeling that I can do anything and everything. And I realise that I'm actually looking forward to the coming day.  
  
I'm smiling as I reach sideways for my red haired lover, but my hand touches only empty sheets. I turn to the place where Aya had slept and see the slight indentation in the pillow. Good. It wasn't a dream. I don't know what I'd do if it was only a dream.  
  
A hint of red catches my eye. I look at the bedside table on which lies a small tray with a glass of water, a box of pills, a handbell and a single red rose. There's a note written in Aya's neat writing. It says 'Stay in bed and rest. Ring the bell if you need anything.'  
  
I'm smiling again. I've turned into a hopeless sap.  
  
But I need to go to the toilet and no one can help me do that. I pull myself up and swing my legs out of the bed. I pull on a shirt before I take the painkillers and then slowly make my way out of my room to the bathroom.  
  
I've relieved myself, washed my face, brushed my teeth and am in the process of changing my dressing when the door is suddenly flung open.  
  
"Ken! What are you doing up?" Aya looks me over assessingly.  
  
"Ne… koi, ever heard of knocking on the door first? What if I was pissing or something?" I finish wrapping the fresh bandage on my leg.  
  
"Oh." Aya looks at the floor. He mumbles, "I wanted to change your dressing for you."  
  
"It's really not that pretty." I sit down on the edge of the bathtub to put my shorts on. "But you can do it tonight if you really want to."  
  
Aya walks over to assist me. As he kneels to pull my shorts up my legs, I can't help but imagine what else he could be doing in that position. Of course, my body reacts to the thought. There's no way Aya's gonna miss that.  
  
I abruptly stand up and Aya follows suit. He raises one eyebrow as he looks at me whilst smoothing the waist elastic of my shorts.  
  
"What can I say? You're really hot." I say defensively.  
  
"Can't you control your hormones?" Aya sounds amused, but he's left his hands on my waist.  
  
"Can you?" I ask challengingly as Aya's fingers idly caress the skin above the back of my shorts.  
  
"Of course." Aya drops his hands and moves to leave.  
  
I move instinctively to stop him, grabbing his arm and pulling his unresisting body back against mine.  
  
"Umm… my leg's hurting a bit. Wanna distract me a bit?" I shamelessly use the excuse of my injury.  
  
Aya is quick to read the mischievous look in my eyes. "Ken…"  
  
"No? Okay, how about just kissing me for the heck of it then?" I proclaim cheerfully.  
  
Aya smiles again and it's as glorious as before. "Baka." But he bends his head to mine.  
  
After what seems only a few seconds of bliss, there's the sound of someone running up the stairs.  
  
Aya pulls away from me and turns to face away from the door. I only have time to straighten my shirt and wipe the silly smile off my face before Omi's hesitant voice is heard from the hallway.  
  
"Ano… Ken-kun." I can hear him knocking on my door.  
  
"Hey Omitchi. I'm in here. What's up?" I poke my head out the door and smile at the young blonde.  
  
"I wanted to see if you were hungry and wanted breakfast yet. Oh Aya-kun. What are you doing here? Helping Ken-kun?"  
  
Aya nods stiffly as my stomach rumbles on demand at the thought of food. I laugh.  
  
"Looks like that's your answer. Just let me grab a jumper and then I'll be down."  
  
"Hai!" Omi disappears as quickly as he can, though not without a quizzical backward glance at us.  
  
The chibi's right to be suspicious. When was the last time Aya came to help him after being injured? I'm not talking about the initial treatment of the wounds. After a mission, we all have an understanding that whoever needs help will receive it. But for assistance after the initial part, I'm sure that Aya would help any of us if we asked him to, but I was always closer to Yohji and Omi and would generally ask them for their assistance. I'm pretty sure that those two did the same thing. Aya does have an unapproachable air about him.  
  
"Hn." Aya looks at the departing blonde with narrowed eyes.  
  
"It's your fault you know. Ambushing me in the bathroom when I'm injured and my resistance is low." I tell Aya jokingly.  
  
"My fault?! You asked me to kiss you!"  
  
"Are you saying you didn't want to kiss me?" I raise an eyebrow. If Aya keeps this up, he's gonna find himself in trouble.  
  
Aya correctly reads my belligerent expression and quickly says, "Of course not. Come on. Let's get you downstairs and fed."  
  
There's another little scuffle when Aya wants to carry me down the stairs to the kitchen.  
  
"You have got to be kidding?! I weigh more than you!" I laugh at the thought.  
  
Aya's face ices over. "I'm glad you find it so amusing."  
  
"And I'm only a few centimetres shorter than you. We're not quite the same as Yohji and Omi." I'm still giggling. 1  
  
"What? Yohji and Omi? What do you mean, Ken?" Aya gives me a suspicious look.  
  
Oops. Me and my big mouth. "Nothing. I just meant that if it was Yohji and Omi in this situation, or even either of us and Omi, then we could carry Omi down. But it just wouldn't happen with anyone else." I hope Aya's gonna accept this explanation.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"But thank you for the thought, koi." I start down the stairs slowly holding onto the banister.  
  
Aya steps down beside me and takes my arm from the railing and places it around his waist. He puts his arm around my shoulders supportively. Wow. This togetherness concept is really blowing my mind. I snuggle closer to Aya loving the feel of his slim body against mine.  
  
We pause at the landing between the staircases. "What should we tell the others?" I turn to Aya with a serious look on my face.  
  
Aya shrugs. "I don't care. Whatever you want."  
  
"You don't mind?" I say questioningly.  
  
"Ken, I don't care what they think. I only care what you think. If you want to tell them, then tell them. If you don't, then don't."  
  
"Aww… Isn't that sweet, Omitchi? What do you think they want to tell us?"  
  
Aya and I look down the stairs to find a smirking Yohji and smiling Omi looking up at us.  
  
I sweatdrop. "What are you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working?" It seems there's no decision to be made anymore.  
  
"I was just coming to tell you that your breakfast is ready in the kitchen." Omi's big blue eyes blink innocently up at me.  
  
"Oh. Thanks Omi."  
  
"And I was just taking a break 'cause the shop's empty. Momoe-san is out there in case anyone comes in. So… you melted the Ice Prince, ne Kenken?" Yohji winks at me.  
  
"Kudou…" growls Aya.  
  
"Come on Yohji-kun. They'll never get down the stairs if you keep talking. You can talk in the kitchen while Ken-kun is eating." Omi drags Yohji off to the kitchen.  
  
"Oh well, that was easy." I say as Aya and I continue down the stairs.  
  
"Hn."  
  
We've reached the bottom of the stairs when Aya says, "What did Kudou mean when he said that you melted me? How does he know about us?"  
  
Damn Yohji and his big mouth. "Umm... koi… Yohji told me that he knew we were attracted to each other. He was encouraging me to tell you."  
  
"Hn." Aya looks thoughtful.  
  
"You're okay with this, aren't you?"  
  
"Of course. I don't care if they know." Aya pauses to lightly caress my cheekbone. "I was just surprised that Kudou picked up on my feelings." Aya suddenly grimaces. "I'm not looking forward to the ribbing that's undoubtedly coming."  
  
I flash my red-haired partner a cheeky smile. "Well, I don't think that'll be a problem. Just leave this one to me, koi. Let's go. I'm hungry."  
  
"What do you know Ken?" Aya asks persistently as we walk to the kitchen.  
  
"Nothing! Why can't you just leave this to me? I promise you, there won't be any teasing by Yohji."  
  
It's not my secret to tell so I find myself reluctant to reveal Yohji and Omi's relationship to Aya. I don't even know if they are ready to go public yet. After all, Omi is only seventeen and Yohji has always said that he likes girls over the age of eighteen. Besides it's kinda nice to have something over Yohji. And it'll make Aya feel better if Yohji isn't teasing him all the time.  
  
The kitchen is empty when we arrive and I sink gratefully onto the chair. Omi's made me a huge breakfast, rice, fish, egg, miso soup and vegetables.  
  
Aya goes to the counter to make tea as I begin to eat.  
  
Yohji enters via the back door after a few minutes. He places his lighter and cigarettes on the counter and sits down. Ah, should have guessed he'd be smoking out the back.  
  
"So Kenken. How's the leg today?"  
  
"It's okay. Bit sore, but bearable."  
  
"Good good. Do you think you're up to coming and working at the register in the store? I wanna send the chibi to school. He misses too many classes as it is. But he wanted to stay home today in case you weren't feeling up to it."  
  
I nod. It's true that Omi does miss a lot of school. But he's lucky that his teachers like him and understand that he also works to support himself as he has no parents. And Omi is a smart student and keeps up with the class easily, so they are happy to support him.  
  
The kettle boils and Aya puts the tea leaves in the pot to brew. He gets our cups and joins us at the table.  
  
"Ah! So domestic already." Yohji smirks at Aya.  
  
Aya glares at him, so Yohji turns his attention to me.  
  
"Got frostbite this morning, Ken?" he says conversationally.  
  
"Don't you think it would be 'bad luck' for you to continue this conversation?" I emphasise the words bad luck.  
  
Yohji stops smirking. He remembers that I was in the kitchen with him and Omi last night.  
  
"Sure Kenken. I better go send the chibi to school. If he leaves soon, he'll only miss a couple classes." Yohji pauses when he reaches the door. "Truly I'm happy for you guys. We all need something to hold onto and survive for." He flashes us a smile and then he's gone.  
  
I look at Aya and he's looking at me. I smile and reach out to lace my fingers through his pale fingers resting on the table.  
  
"What's up, koi?"  
  
"I can't believe he stopped when you told him to. What hold do you have over him?"  
  
I laugh. "Nothing. You're so suspicious. Are you like this all the time Aya?"  
  
"Aa… Ken…" Aya looks at me warily. "I wanted to tell you, I really like the nickname you've given me. But I also wanted to tell you… My real name is Ran. Aya is my imouto's name. I was using it as a way of keeping her alive."  
  
"I guessed that Aya wasn't your real name. Thank you for sharing your real name with me. What do you want me to call you? And I want to hear about your sister. Where is she? How can you be in Weiss with a sister?"  
  
"I'd like it if you called me Ran, but you can call me whatever you want. I want to tell you about Aya-chan too, but it's a long story and I might leave it till later, if that's alright."  
  
I squeeze his hand. "Ran-koi. I like it. We're only at the beginning and I'm looking forward to discovering all about the real Ran Fujimiya."  
  
"Me too." Wow. I can't believe the look in Ran's eyes, it's so open and relaxed.  
  
I sigh happily in contentment.  
  
"Oh Ken, you forgot to give me my book from when we went shopping."  
  
"Did I? Oh yeah. I just threw the bag in my closet. I'll go and get it for you later. You know, I was so surprised when you picked up that book. That Yuki's pretty hot, huh? I looked at the author's photo on the cover." I smile at the memory.  
  
"Ken, you're still looking at other guys?" Ran looks at me with slightly narrowed eyes. I'm worried that he's serious and I'm spluttering "Ano… Ran…" when he sighs dramatically and says "I can see that it's going to be a lot of work to keep you in line."  
  
"What?!" I exclaim. "You were just pulling my leg!"  
  
Ran smirks as I groan.  
  
"I think I'll have to punish you for that. And I think I've got just the thing… in my shopping bag…" I scratch my chin as if deep in thought.  
  
"Ken, no way. There's no way I'm going to wear that thong." Ran is shaking his head at me.  
  
"No? But I think you'll look extremely sexy. C'mon Ran. I won't make you wear it around all day, just model it for me, huh?" I plead.  
  
"No." Ran is still shaking his head.  
  
"I'll model it for you next time." I wink suggestively at Ran.  
  
"Hn…"  
  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
  
- Owari -  
  
1. It's true! Though sometimes Ken is drawn as much shorter than Aya, the Weiss Kruez Film Book (official, so it must be right!) says that Aya is 178cm and Ken is 175cm. Perfect! (Yohji is 182cm and Omi is 163cm, in case you are interested…)  
  
And that's the end… Thank you for reading!  
Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think!


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